Thursday, June 14, 2012


Last weekend was hard for me.  I was really struggling with my emotions.  We have had a number of folks tell us to have Dimples moved.  That she is too difficult.  That she should be a therapeutic home. That it is harmful to the other children.  That it will be too hard.

When my therapist confirms what I already know.....that she has some pretty severe attachment issues.  That maybe even more is going on with her.  That it is going to take years to help her heal.  That perhaps she might not ever heal.

I could call DSS and asked to have her moved.  I could transfer the pain, the work, the unknown onto someone else.  After all, many others already have.  We are their 7th home.  Their last home was an adoptive placement, they gave up after 3 weeks. 

However, my husband and I read their report.  We knew that she had attachment issues.  We knew that they had been in many other homes.

We did not say, "let us try and if it gets too hard we will return them."

We said, "they will be our daughters." 

You do not return a child because they are not what you expected.  Because the world sees them as flawed.  Because they are difficult to deal with.

So, yes, I struggled with my emotions over the weekend.  I talked with my husband because it takes both parties to commit.  Thankfully by Monday I was feeling recommitted and ready to stop the second guessing.

Time to get something done......

On Monday I called the state to put in a complaint on their case.  Their case for TPR should have been filed months ago.  It has been 7 months since they went to court to change to TPR.  Seven months we have been waiting for the lawyer to submit the paperwork.  She is supposed to do it within 60 days.

I left a voicemail and never heard back.  I assumed that they were not going to do anything.  Today I talked with our teens social worker and she said that the state had contacted them about us.  They are looking into the girls case.  I find it odd that they didn't contact me for more information but I am not complaining.  If this can get the case moving forward then I am all for it.

So, please pray for the girls.  Please pray that the lawyer puts in the paperwork so that they can get to court.  Pray that they can get some permanency.


  1. Perhaps having the paperwork saying it's permanent will at least show her that you aren't giving up. May not change a lot at first, but it will show her you are sticking by her. It would be easy to give up and no one would blame you. It's going to be a long 12 or more years. But your eyes are open and you at least know what you're dealing with up front.

  2. I hAVE been there with the emotions, too.... Committing yourself forever to children with attachment issues - knowing they are hard, hard, hard kids and life will never be the same again is huge. You'll have to grieve a little, count the cost (over and over) and recommit yourself to them again and again... at least that is how it has worked here. They are worth it.