Is anyone working out there?

I remember when you could make a call and get a problem resolved. You didn't even have to wonder if it would get resolved. Things sure have changed.

I wanted to get started early this morning but was waiting on my tree man to come give me an estimate.

So, I call the early intervention program to see what was happening with Larissa. Four weeks ago they said they would call me right back, I never received that call. When I reached her she said she would call me back in 10 minutes.

So, 2 1/2 hours later she called back. She didn't remember ever talking to me. Also, she couldn't find the paperwork I had given her. I had given her everything; IEP, birth certificate, SSN, shot record, evaluations, proof of residency. After a long discussion she finally did remember me.....I had gone in and met her personally to make sure everything that needed to get done actually got done. After searching her desk she actually found our paperwork. She says she will get back with me tomorrow. Who wants to place bets?


Finally the tree guy shows up....3 hours late. Hey, at least he showed up! He is the only one out of 6 calls. All the others say they will come and never do.

$400..............that is how much it is going to cost me to have my tree cut down. I do not have any other estimates so what choice do I have? The tree is dead and needs to go.

It is big and tall.................

Tall enough that if it decided to fall it would probably fall on the part of the house where the TV resides and the kids play.

He says that he will come on Thursday or Friday, he will call the night before. Any bets?

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So, with that business out of the way we are free to go take care of other business.

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We head to the doctor where I want Larissa and Anthony to go. Currently they don't have any Tricare slots but they do have Medicaid slots. However, you have to have the right type of Medicaid. I called last week and gave them the kids Medicaid numbers and they said they would call me right back. No return call, so today I go in person to make sure that the kids are good to go. They checked while we waited and the kids are on the right plan (I don't usually do Medicaid so it is all foreign to me). I was amazed something worked out.

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Next we head to Sarah's school. We had taken in her paperwork weeks ago and she said she would put her in the system. Next week is orientation and we wanted to make sure that Sarah was in the system so she could get a schedule at orientation. Good thing we checked, she is not in the system. I asked her if Sarah's choice of ATEC still had openings and she said that it was full now. I wasn't surprised, Sarah did pick another one without an attitude. She did give me a look though. I knew what she meant. We wonder if she would have gotten the ATEC that she chose if she had been put in the system weeks ago.

Soon those halls will be full.............................

We did get some things accomplished today. I have most of Joselin's paperwork for Wil Lou Gray finished. I am still working on some of my own school paperwork.

Tomorrow we head back to the doctor for Joselin. She is having abdominal pain and all the tests are coming back negative, to include the ultrasound. However, she is still in pain. Thank goodness for health insurance.

One day at a time.

Foster Care After Adoption

Last night Larissa asked me why she was the only one of the girls to have curly hair. Talking genetics to a 4 year old is not possible. I did talk about her other mom who did have curly hair just like her. I have asked for a picture of her biomom and haven't received one yet. I think that I really need one.

Sometimes I think that explaining adoption to a child who was a foster child is harder then explaining foster care to a child whose mom made an adoption plan. How do you tell a child that their mom was not able to care for them so the courts took away their parental rights? That their parents didn't do what was necessary to get them back? I don't want my child to feel that they weren't worth the effort, because they definitely are. It's not their fault, they did nothing wrong.

When we receive foster children and my kids get attached, how do I explain why the foster child is going home and they didn't? Why some parents are able to work their plan and theirs don't? Will it bother them watching other kids going home?

They still ask me about K. I have found out he is doing well and have shared that with them. I use him as an example, that some foster kids go back home.

There is always some pain involved with foster care, attaching to a child and then letting them go is hard. It is hard for everyone in the family, not just the adults.

Kids seem to adapt well, sometimes I wonder if I just worry too much about stuff.

Busy Week Ahead

I slacked last week and now I am behind on getting some projects done. Joselin had a doctors appointment this morning so we headed into town. Naturally a trip to Michael's was in order.

Yes, I did buy them the foam hats. I don't expect them to last long because....well, they are made of foam.

One appointment led to another so I didn't really get much accomplished today.

I still need to check into Larissa's school since I haven't heard back from them. I heard from speech today and she qualified for services, however, I don't think that Tricare will pay for speech so I need to look into getting them paid for under Medicaid. I may have to go to post adoptions and use their medical fund.

For myself I need to find my immunization card for school (naturally, it takes a visit to the doctor to get the "official" form filled out) and I need to get the paperwork around to prove that I am a citizen. I have come to realize that I am stuck with out of state tuition rates but will go ahead anyways. I need to turn in my assistantship paperwork to try and get instate tuition.

I need to take Larissa in for blood work this week and am dreading it! She has never had blood taken before. Her MRI is next week with sedation, not looking forward to that either. She is still seizing.

I have the little ones medicaid cards and I need to go see our old doctor to see which program they need to be on so that they can go back to her. She can take them because they are medicaid, but no openings for Tricare. We love this doctor so we check regularly for openings.

I also have a very dead tree in the backyard that needs to come down. Every time a storm blows through I worry that the tree will come crashing down. I have called several companies to get an estimate and none of them show up. I guess one tree is not worth much to them. I made more calls today and someone is coming tomorrow for an estimate, hopefully he will show up.

I don't know why it seems that I am not getting anything accomplished. As soon as I think I have something under control, something else crops up or one issues becomes multiple issues.

But, that is my life and I love it. I believe I will accomplish something tomorrow.

Wil Lou Gray Opportunity School

Joselin seems to have finally realized that she is really not ready to head out on her own. I guess realizing that you are dependent on those that give out the rules just really sucks.

She has decided that she wants to attend the Wil Lou Gray Opportunity School. Originally she didn't want to attend the school because it is a military style school. However, after the last week of venturing out on her own, she has come to realize that she needs to do something to prepare herself.

Jason attended the Wil Lou Gray Opportunity School and received his GED there. They have a great program for kids who are struggling. They advertise themselves as an alternate school for students aged 16-19 who are "at-risk". It is a residential school run by the National Guard and there is no cost. If I remember correctly we had to put $100 in an account for medical needs but received it back when Jason finished.

They interview each student who applies and will only accept those who want to be there. We wanted Joselin to go there last year but she wasn't willing to go. It is a waste of time to apply if the child does not want to go.

If you know of a child who is struggling with school in South Carolina then you should check them out.

There is another similar program that is available in all states. It is called the National Guard Youth Challenge Program. Great free program for kids who need it.

Home Again

Joselin called me today and asked me to pick her up. She says that she is ready to follow the house rules. I am not sure what happened in the few days she was gone but I have a feeling that something out there scared her.

I hope that she realizes that she is definitely not ready to be on her own. Actually, she wasn't on her own, she was relying on friends. How long can that type of support be used? I guess in Joselin's case it is 5 days.

I wonder if she realizes how much her struggles affect me. I try to compartmentalize her issues so that I don't allow it to affect how much I am there for the other kids. However, sometimes that is just not possible. We go on with life but a small part of me doesn't. I couldn't bring myself to blog yesterday. I try to do it daily but blogging about our mundane life didn't seem right with a kid out there in danger. I can't imagine how parents deal with it when their kids runaway and never return.

The little ones do not understand what is going on with Joselin. Heck, some days I don't understand and I wonder if even Joselin understands. I hope that some day she can find peace within herself. Right now, she is a long way from doing that.

For tonight, she is home and safe.

Bewilderment

Bewilderment, that is an appropriate description of my feelings today.

Joselin is now 17 years old on paper, she is actually now 18.

However, she is not home to celebrate her birthday. I never thought that she would walk out the way she did. Apparently it was her plan for years, I find that so hard to believe. Was I so naive? How could I not know?

I knew that she struggled with her losses. I knew that she was just so unwilling to move forward with her life. I did everything I could to help her heal. However, in the end the person that needed to actually do it was not willing. You can't force a person to accept, to forgive, to grow.

I hope that some of the things that she said were not true. I hope that she does want a family. I hope that she keeps herself safe. I hope that if she really needs help she will call me.


I love her. Why does love have to hurt?

Augusta

Hanging out in Augusta.

I decided that I needed to do a day trip to Augusta and have dinner with my husband. There seems to be a lot of activities in Augusta that have to do with golfing or historical places. The kids were not too interested in either of those activities. I was able to find a place called Fort Discovery.

Fort Discovery is located in the center of Augusta right off the Riverwalk.

I wouldn't suggest throwing any trash on the streets, there is a $1000 fine. They had signs posted everywhere.

The signs seem to help. I didn't see litter everywhere. (We didn't see many people outside either)

The Riverwalk was very nice.

It was also very deserted.

I think it was because of the heat, actually humidity. We were all drenched in sweat after just a few minutes of walking.

It cost us $24 to get into Fort Discovery. If I had brought my AAA card we could have gotten in for less. With a AAA card they have a buy one, get one free special. I am a AAA member, my card is in another purse, ooops.

The kids had a great time, I did too although I was too tall for the spacewalk. They have over 250 interactive displays and we could have spent a lot longer there then we did.

We also really liked the laser music. Actually, I think I liked it the most, I kept playing with it. Thankfully, I carry the camera.

The little ones really enjoyed the moonwalk.

They had a lot of activities that the little ones could do on their own.

At the entrance they have a huge play space.

But, I have to warn you that if you go, take socks. You must wear them to play. They do sell them in the store located right around the corner.

Don't you love Larissa's new white socks?

Next we headed over to the Augusta Mall. Sarah hit up her favorite store, Hot Topic. She got a Reptar backpack for school.

Then we ran into a Build A Bear store. Larissa stuffed her first bear. She has hand me downs galore, but not one she stuffed herself. (I know you are laughing Tasha. I couldn't help myself, I tried to wait until her birthday, truly I did.)

We spent some time sitting around the play area they have, waiting for John to get off of work.

It was nice to have dinner with my husband during the week. I am glad that we took the trip. I needed the break.

In other news, I had been tracking Joselin all day. She lied to me about where she went yesterday (no big surprise) and then lied to me again when I asked her where she was going today. She is not making very good choices right now. I have filed a police report on her as a runaway, however, as of midnight tomorrow night it won't matter. At 17 you are allowed to leave home and can't be forced back. Pray for her, she really needs it right now.