We really don't have much extended family that we see. My entire childhood was spent moving frequently. I didn't have any relationships with cousins, aunts and uncles. Johns mother passed away years ago and that really had an impact on his side of the family. Most of the time it is just our core family so when family comes to town it is a treat.
My brother Scott is 5 years younger than me and he has no children. I have another brother who is 18 months older than me who has no children either. Guess I have enough for everyone!
Back when my mom went into the hospital and they wanted to put her on hospice care Scott decided that he needed to come to visit her. She was delighted to see him. I was happy to see him too. We might just see more of him as he is talking about taking the same cruise we are taking in December.
I spent all of my childhood moving often and then married into the military only to move more again. Before moving to SC the longest I had lived anywhere was 4 years and that was because my parents made the effort to stay in one spot while I was in high school. Moving often has advantages and disadvantages. I appreciate that I have had the opportunity to have many experiences and see a lot of the world. However, it can be lonely. You leave freinds behind all the time, with the business of life it is hard to maintain those friendships once you move to a new location. While moving I have never had a baby shower, birthday party with extended family or had someone we could rely on in an emergency. We learned to be self sufficient.
Even today, with years in one place I have a very small group of friends, half of them are on the internet. Fostering takes its toll on friendships as others don't understand the challenges.
Ha, I am not sure why my post went in that direction. I think that having one of my friends in hospice care has me looking at my life and my friendships/relationships. Sometimes I wish I had more friends. However, I also realize that I wouldn't have time for more friends!
Curious, who has a lot of friends and who had a few select friends?
Random pictures from Scotts visit. I didn't think about getting a picture of Scott with mom.
Very few friends! I grew up with plenty, and stayed in my hometown. Then in my 20's, I went through a lot of betrayal in my family, my (then) husband and friends. It was never the same after those blows.
ReplyDeleteI remarried and moved across the country. We have 2 kids and have to rely on ourselves. My husband needed surgery in another state this summer (complicated specialist). I had to bring the kids and we all helped him through. They are still young. It's hard. I drove myself to the hospital in labor. And after I had my second, was alone upon return home- my husband left 3 days post partum for a conference. Stuff like this. It's hard....
I have very few friends as well. We moved a lot growing up. Currently I have no time for anything. If I get invited out I just don't have the energy it takes to foster true friendships. I'm not sure if it's foster care related or if it's just that I keep my circle small because of all the moving around as a kid
ReplyDeleteI have friends, but our adoption has taken a toll on those relationships. I have so little time and energy...
ReplyDeleteFriends? One local, but she works during the day. I see her when we get together at the bay on holidays! I have a couple of friends from high school I am in touch with, and then this one crazy adoptive mom I met ... :) :)
ReplyDelete