Saturday, July 5, 2014

Building Relationships

Relationships are complicated. We have kids with different experiences, different traumas, different objective, different genetics, different diagnosis's.  Sometimes I understand why relationships are struggling, sometimes I just shake my head.

Anthony, he gets along well with Larissa and surprisingly Emma.  He does not get along with Michelle.  They are very mean to each other.  I feel as though they are fighting for top dog or something.

Michelle does not get along with Anthony, barely tolerates Emma and does best with Larissa.  The relationship with Larissa is something I am working on improving.

Emma gets along best with Anthony and can play well with Larissa.  Not so much with Michelle.

Larissa get along with everyone.

Right now Emma is in the small room outside of our bedroom.  I don't see that changing anytime soon.  Anthony has his own bedroom, Sarah has her own bedroom (sometimes Larissa rooms with her).  Larissa and Michelle are sharing the master bedroom upstairs.

So far this is working out this time around.  Michelle has been told that if she wakes up Larissa then she will room with Emma that night.  She did this only one time, she does not like to room with Emma.  Michelle can tend to be bossy and mean.  At this time we have an incentive to get along nicely.  Every day that they are able to have a good day in how they treat each other they get a check mark.  When they get 5 they get to go to a movie together.  They have been working at it for 4 days and currently have two check marks.  I can really see that they are trying hard to get along.

I am currently redoing their bedroom.  The castle bed has been sold and they have given me directions on their new beds.  Michelle asked me the other day if she was getting a chair with her name on it like Larissa has.  It is very important to her that she get the same as Larissa.  I think that they always considered the castle bed to be Larissa's bed.  They didn't feel that it was specifically theirs.

Emma used to have a nice little bedroom.  The before room had safety railing, new paint job, ladder going to the sleeping area, nice cabinet doors and bedding. 

Currently the cabinet doors are off, the painting job is a mess and the safety railing has been ripped out in a fit.

The metal brackets were torn in half in a tantrum.


The initial bedding was ripped to shreds and camping pad was brought in.  She is trying ehr best to destroy this but it is tougher.

The bi-fold door was damaged and I took it apart and am currently making it into two hinged doors.  There will be an alarm back in place soon.  The kitchen chair was found next to the fridge and she was later caught climbing it to get on the cabinet and into the snack box on top of the fridge.  The box is no longer there/

This was a space that Larissa loved when she roomed there and none of these items were damaged while she was in there.  It is hard to buy nice things for a child who destroys them!  I won't even get started on the amount of clothing that she has destroyed.

At this time we are working on the relationships between Anthony and Michelle and Michelle and Larissa. With Emma I am concentrating on attaching to me.  Her world always seems so small, she is not allowed in the garage with the wii.

Anyone else working on building relationships this summer?

1 comment:

  1. Just working on obeying even when no one is watching and not sabotaging with pouting etc when caught breaking a rule. Everyone is doing pretty well. We are down to just ordinary behavior problems. While at camp they did not listen, obey, cooperate cheerfully etc so we have a ways to go with the obedience when not with me.