Information Gathering

As a foster parent you will wear many different hats. One of the many challenges of foster care is information gathering.

We did a few days respite care for a tiny 6 month old baby. Tiny as in wears size 0 to 3 month size clothing tiny. Way underweight. No core body strength, can't sit up, many delays. She has been in care for over a month.Treatment is a challenge. Why? Because there is no medical history for her. Was she premature? What was her birth weight? Having some medical history could totally change what care she needs. Is she small because of something else? Does she have a genetic issue? Something else going on?

As a foster parent not having all the information we need hinders us. Some kids start all over on their shots because there are no records. Some have existing allergies, medical conditions and such that we don't know about. Thankfully some parents are eager to give all of the child's information but when they don't we have to play detective. The foster parent is on the front line, we have the child, we are responsible for the child. It is possible that a child will be dropped off at your house and you won't hear from DSS for days, perhaps longer.

One of my children came with many different issues. It is taking me forever to determine what we are dealing with. I try to have open relations with people involved in the child's life. By listening I have learned that she has lived in more homes than originally thought. That she was in fact premature. That diabetes runs in the family. General information that is helpful when going to different doctors.

Every child is unique. Some you know nothing and others you actually know quite a bit.

Interested in fostering? Put on your detective hat.

Where's Felicia?

Busy, she is busy, well I am busy. I am in the middle of twenty projects and am not finishing any of them. Well, I did finish one painting I wanted to do for myself, now I just need to frame it and hang it up.

I need lots of Grace these days. I seem to forget things when I have a lot on my mind, I call it clutter mind.

I did have to request that our last placement be moved. We were having a lot of problems with little guy and new guy and fighting. You know the type, hair pulling, biting, sumo wrestling.  I request that new guy be moved. Two weeks later they still hadn't moved him but he did have a visit. Well, he had a little guy size bite on his arm. When they brought him back that gave me some what for. Well, I reminded them that I had asked for him to be moved for exactly that reason. When little guy comes at you, you don't know if you are getting a hug, kiss or bite. Keeping those two apart is impossible. It took them another week but they did finally find him a placement. Obviously they were annoyed with me, they hardly said a word to me. I told DSS not to call with any placements, I have a biter.

We have been doing some rock painting, we just might have a problem.

Little guy has a special attraction to Cheetos. They are not safe anywhere in the house.

I had a friend take my kids to the zoo. Yes, I enroll the help of friends when I need to get something done.

We got a new yard toy.

Benjamin is simply a crazy boy

Ooops, more rocks out of order and I am not trying to move them up!

Dance continues and we have just a few weeks to go until recital.

Miguel continues to grow. I have a few weeks and then I am hosting a baby shower. Yea, I haven't even started, it will be sports theme if anyone has any great ideas.

I continue to sneak in birthday parties.

Benjamin is in training and loves the scanner.

Another problem our family has, sno cones.

Introducing the youngest to our problem.

I took some kids out to dinner and a movie. We went to go see Infinity War. Everyone liked it.

We are short a bathroom, one is torn apart. Luckily we have 2 1/2 other bathrooms. Not sure when that project will get done. I am also working on the yard and a pathway. I am about broke with that. I have several other small projects going on. Kids will be out of school soon then nothing will get done!

For the next three days we are doing respite care for a baby, itty baby, so even less will get done. Sarah is cooking fajitas so I am taking a quick break, will post later tonight.

Small Organization

One area we struggle in is dirty dishes. Every day you could almost fill the dishwasher with only cups. So one day I purchased the kids their own cup. The older ones are responsible for their own cup and washing it. All cups need to be back on the tray by the end of the night.

When I did this I thought it wouldn't work out. The cups would disappear or become very nasty. It has now been over a month and it has actually been a success! Our number of cups going through the dishwasher has greatly diminished. No cups have been lost. The cups are all clean. I tried this a while back when the kids were younger and it didn't work. I guess they are finally at an age in which they can manage to be responsible for a cup.  Notice they are all different colors.

Creative Day

Backtracking....

I still get requests for birthday parties. I went to a party where the 7 year olds wanted to paint a flower with bees. They had a great time and so did I. I really miss my shop and receive a lot of requests to do my art camps and parties.

The rest of the day was spent at Historic Camden. Our local rock group was there and we had a lot of rocks hidden throughout the area. They also had a night rock hunt. Some kids didn't want to go so we took the kids who did. 

I was asked to paint a rock for a hunt before the event. 

The weather was great for a change and the kids who went had a great time.

Our foster Little Miss went and loved it as well.

They lit a canon at dusk.

A small sampling of the rocks they found.

It was a different type of activity but there was a great group of people there. Larissa said that everyone was so nice. Anyone else have a rock group in your area? Ours is quite active.

Sleepover

How do you feel about sleepovers? I am very selective and leery of them. I worry about older sons in the home and husbands/boyfriends. I guess I am a bit paranoid. It isn't that I never allow them, I am just very selective. Some of my kids have only spent the night at family or a specific friend of mine. Emma had been nagging me to spend the night at one of her friends house. I had been holding off as I didn't know that family well. The mom is a teacher at her school. After a while I relented and decided to allow her to spend the night. We are trying for "normal" childhood positive experiences.

The sleepover went well. The rebound effect didn't go so well. She got in the car and I asked how it went. She started yelling at me about some birthday party and why didn't she get to go. Huh? I didn't know about any such party. Well, she did and she planned on going. Speaking to me in such a tone that didn't bode well for future sleepovers.

Why is it when I allow certain kids to have new, positive experiences it always ends with a huge dose of self-entitlement? It makes it so hard to allow them to do anything. An interesting side issue that I note is her sense of superiority that she seems to hold onto. She talked about how their house was in a bad area and the house so small. Uh, it was in a newer, nice subdivision and a 2800 sq ft home! I have no idea what will happen to her when reality hits her in the future. I reminded her that our home is our home for her use and we worked hard for it. She will not start out in a big house when she goes off on her own.

So do you allow sleepovers?

Seizures/home schooling

Larissa has been on a new seizure medication for a bit, long enough that we should be seeing some improvement...... nope.

Today was a busy day, I took Larissa to the orthodontist, lunch and then dropped Sarah off at college.

On the ride home I saw Larissa's hand pop up and then heard her raspy breathing. I knew at that moment that she was having a seizure. I can't even explain to you the feeling that I get when I am driving along and realize that my kid is having a seizure. It is painful, it is frustrating, it is sad, it is scary, it makes me feel that in some way I am failing her because we haven't found the medication that works and it is impacting her life.

We got home and I did her hair while she made some slime. (She is addicted to that stuff, I have bought so much glue it isn't even funny!)

We went to dance and then when we should have done homeschooling she was too exhausted to do so. Instead she went to bed.

Homeschooling has evolved. Because of the kids we homeschool in the evening. It has been working out the best for us because her mornings are shot. When you have several seizures at night it makes mornings hard. When you also have them during the day it makes evenings hard too!

We are struggling with school. We are doing Saxon math because I like the repetitiveness of it. However, we often have to stop because she suddenly forgets facts that she had mastered or some things are just difficult for her to get. We will stop and do extra work in areas where she is struggling. These days it is often.

Sometimes I feel as though I am failing in the homeschool department. Unless something suddenly changes, she is not going to catch up, she is not going to be able to get the credits for math that she needs to graduate. I have been told by someone who works with troubled youth that I should teach her life skills, what she wants to learn and the GED. Not sure where I stand with that. Anyone homeschooling and struggling?

We have been having fun with science and some other projects. 

On my stressful days I paint late into the night.....

 

She is now taller than me but doesn't acknowledge it yet.