Moved

We made the heartbreaking decision to have little man moved. Oh how we loved that child and so wanted to make him our child, however, we came to the painful reality that our family was being negatively impacted by his behaviors. We had his Babynet update today so he can have services transferred instead of requiring his new home to start from scratch.

His screams (long and loud) when he didn’t get what he wanted were starting to give Sarah panic attacks and messing with Johns PTSD. He screamed when told no, screamed and attacked when he wanted what other kids had, screamed at times we couldn’t figure out. We had been working on finding other ways to communicate but he won’t have it. At his 6 month review there were no improvement in the screaming.

The aggression. He started biting kids at church. We had a brief improvement in aggression then it came back worse then before. He kicked, bit, scratched, pinched, threw toys to get his way, when told no, and sometimes with no reason. Benjamin was afraid to sleep with him. Was his main target.

Speech no improvement. Heck he barely took time from fighting her to engage.

Last week I came to realize that after 6 months none of his behaviors have improved and he hasn’t picked up any new words. As much as we love him, perhaps love isn’t enough. Is it him or us? We got all the services, tried everything we knew and everything they suggested with no improvement. Then Wednesday Benjamin came down in the morning after waking up only to have little man chuck a toy at him. The child is an accurate thrower. Benjamin’s instant change from happy to see mom to crying in pain just hit a nerve. I texted his worker and told her that we just couldn’t keep him. Normally I cool down and don’t go there but it was time.

I gave them time to find an appropriate placement. Keep in mind, in our home he was a regular placement. We had sent in lots of documentation to show that he wasn’t. They moved him to an therapeutic home that works with kids with special needs today. I was glad that they did place him where he should get help but wonder why they kept him as a regular placement in our home.

Our house is so quiet without him here. There is evidence of him in every room. Either drawings on walls or clothing or toys or even child proofing. It is hard to go from we really want to adopt to the realization that for your family’s health you really can’t.

He really started to change around 18 months. We first thought terrible twos. However, as time went on we realized that it wasn’t just terrible twos. There is more going on and we just aren’t the family for him. Please pray that he finds his forever home and heals and grows. We are heartbroken but realize that we just can’t do it all.

Meth sucks, mental health issues suck.