Rough Week

This past week has been rough.  I continue to work on my decluttering and am at the point where my house looks worse than when I started in spite of two trips to Goodwill.  I am also working on a kitchen remodel and added a bathroom sprucing up.

I continue to homeschool two girls but have some concerns.  I have mentioned that I would talk more about our homeschooling and I will, sometime....soon.

We got Sarah off to college.  I sure miss her, she is my late night partner in crime.  She is also a great help with the kids when I need to run and errand, such a luxury.  I miss her, I miss her company.

My mom is about the same, requires a lot of care yet doesn't.  She is content to watch TV and is happy when I bring her her late night snack.  Although caring for her is not too hard, it is just constant.  She doesn't get fed, changed or moved unless I do it or her caregiver does.  You can't take a break for a day and be sick. I always worry that she will develop bedsores or something will happen while she is watching TV and I won't know about it.  Yet, none of that happens, we go about our business of caring for her on a daily basis.

Anthony seems to enjoy middle school so far and hasn't had any complaints.  No calls or such about behavior problems.  Michelle on the other hand started her first week with small behavior issues and continued them for the second week.  Frustrating.  I told her this was a new start, she isn't taking advantage of that.

Then comes the hard days.  Jason asked to do lunch with me.  He is struggling.  When he talked to me about how he laid in bed crying that morning it hurt.  When my kids are hurting it hurts me.

Then I got a text from Joselin that she needed to see me that day.  When I walk up to her and she sees me and starts crying I want to cry.  I don't even know why she is crying I just know that when the response to seeing mom is to cry then it isn't good. We had a long talk, she is struggling too.

On a good note, Kassi saw her doctor and they are 90% sure it is a boy.  She was supposed to see the doctor today and I haven't heard from her so now I wonder what's up.

I don't talk about the older kids often because I consider their life stories to be theirs. That doesn't mean that I am not active in their lives.  Daily I text most of them or talk on the phone.  Frequently we meet up for lunch or the kids come by for dinner. I am always there to offer support, give sometimes unwanted advise and to be a friend.  They are adults, free to make their own choices and I try to respect that.  However, as a mom I sometimes feel the need to give a word of caution when needed. There is such a balance with adult kids and I have had to learn when to speak up and when to shut up.  I think that overall I do a pretty good job at that, at least they are all still talking to me.

Hopefully this will be a better week and I can get something accomplished.