We are getting ready.
First Christmas tree for our teen.
Tasha will be home for Thanksgiving, before she leaves the country.
She will be here to put her ornament on the tree.
(No, the table isn't ready yet!)
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Anyone Wondering?
About Joselin? I haven't heard from her in a while. However, I do have a way to peek into her Facebook and she has a new "momma" as she calls her and recently went out to eat with her "cousin". Apparently she loves her momma. I hope that she is truly happy. I really feel that she doesn't know what a momma is. I hear Anthony and Larissa talking about her to the new girls. It isn't too positive. The comments do remind me of why she can not live in our home. Yes, it hurts me. I have a feeling that I am the only one who misses her on some level. I still pray for her.
About Lily? After a day of feeling poorly she has bounced back and is doing great. I am surprised that she didn't end up with a huge black eye. It is amazing how quickly little ones heal. I am making her an eye exam appointment. I notice that when she is looking at something close up she looks down. It looks odd to me, but maybe it is nothing.
About Larissa? We don't know the results of her testing yet. She has more testing in December. Her new anti seizure medication does make her more tired and cranky in the afternoon. I hope that she adjusts to it soon.
About Dimples? Yes, she has two huge dimples when she grins. She is loving sleeping downstairs. I think that perhaps she feels more secure down where we are.
About Anthony? Yes, he does wonder when we are going to adopt a boy. Poor child is so outnumbered but he is adapting.
About our foster teen? She wants adopted and tells everyone. She changed her Facebook name to our name. She does not know how to make rice crispy treats. She wanted to know how long to bake them after they were made. I need to get her in the kitchen more often. Every day I can see the effects of not having a mom for 11 years.
About Sarah? She is turning 18 this month! I am shocked. She will graduate this summer and is working on going on a mission trip with Teen Missions International. She plans on going to Italy. She wants to go to college and become a missionary. I think she will be doing international studies.
About me? I am going crazy. Trying to fix up rooms, furniture, study, do papers, prepare a presentation, mother hurt little ones, juggle medical appointments, talk with therapists, SW, GAL......just generally doing it all. I want to open an ETSY shop so over Christmas break between everything else I plan on doing some painting. I have a theme. I'll share it later.
Why it is after midnight and I am online? I am crazy. Off to bed. Have a great night.
About Lily? After a day of feeling poorly she has bounced back and is doing great. I am surprised that she didn't end up with a huge black eye. It is amazing how quickly little ones heal. I am making her an eye exam appointment. I notice that when she is looking at something close up she looks down. It looks odd to me, but maybe it is nothing.
About Larissa? We don't know the results of her testing yet. She has more testing in December. Her new anti seizure medication does make her more tired and cranky in the afternoon. I hope that she adjusts to it soon.
About Dimples? Yes, she has two huge dimples when she grins. She is loving sleeping downstairs. I think that perhaps she feels more secure down where we are.
About Anthony? Yes, he does wonder when we are going to adopt a boy. Poor child is so outnumbered but he is adapting.
About our foster teen? She wants adopted and tells everyone. She changed her Facebook name to our name. She does not know how to make rice crispy treats. She wanted to know how long to bake them after they were made. I need to get her in the kitchen more often. Every day I can see the effects of not having a mom for 11 years.
About Sarah? She is turning 18 this month! I am shocked. She will graduate this summer and is working on going on a mission trip with Teen Missions International. She plans on going to Italy. She wants to go to college and become a missionary. I think she will be doing international studies.
About me? I am going crazy. Trying to fix up rooms, furniture, study, do papers, prepare a presentation, mother hurt little ones, juggle medical appointments, talk with therapists, SW, GAL......just generally doing it all. I want to open an ETSY shop so over Christmas break between everything else I plan on doing some painting. I have a theme. I'll share it later.
Why it is after midnight and I am online? I am crazy. Off to bed. Have a great night.
Big Changes Coming Our Way
Today I asked my husband to quit his job. Yep, I did. It is a scary thing!
He works 100 miles away. We thought it would be temporary and he rented an apartment for a year. A few months ago his year lease was up and he came home and drove with the hope of finding a local job. He wanted to hold onto his job until I finished school. However, no jobs are coming up locally. The drive is getting to be too much. Our options are for him to rent and apartment again or quit.
The problem with living at home only on the weekends is he gets used to being alone and we get used to him being gone. It is not good for a family situation. So today I asked him to quit. First he said yes then he said no. Finally I called him back and told him yes, do it. It is scary for him. All he knows is government work in one way or another. It is scary for me because he has always worked. So, after March he will no longer be a government employee. We are taking a big leap of faith here.
Thanks to military retirement we have enough to live on. We will have to fill out a new financial statement for adoptions showing that we are not relying on subsidies to adopt. We will not have as much discretionary money that we are used to but we have enough income. We are going to have to learn some saving strategies. I really need to get into the couponing that seems to be popular. Food is our biggest expense followed by our house payment.
So, anyone have some good strategies for saving money? Good cheap recipes? Anyone do the freezing of meals? Have an ETSY shop? (I am thinking of starting one)
What do you do to save money?
He works 100 miles away. We thought it would be temporary and he rented an apartment for a year. A few months ago his year lease was up and he came home and drove with the hope of finding a local job. He wanted to hold onto his job until I finished school. However, no jobs are coming up locally. The drive is getting to be too much. Our options are for him to rent and apartment again or quit.
The problem with living at home only on the weekends is he gets used to being alone and we get used to him being gone. It is not good for a family situation. So today I asked him to quit. First he said yes then he said no. Finally I called him back and told him yes, do it. It is scary for him. All he knows is government work in one way or another. It is scary for me because he has always worked. So, after March he will no longer be a government employee. We are taking a big leap of faith here.
Thanks to military retirement we have enough to live on. We will have to fill out a new financial statement for adoptions showing that we are not relying on subsidies to adopt. We will not have as much discretionary money that we are used to but we have enough income. We are going to have to learn some saving strategies. I really need to get into the couponing that seems to be popular. Food is our biggest expense followed by our house payment.
So, anyone have some good strategies for saving money? Good cheap recipes? Anyone do the freezing of meals? Have an ETSY shop? (I am thinking of starting one)
What do you do to save money?
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Life
One major paper completed, many more due in the next few weeks. My semester is coming to an end and I will get a break for Christmas.
Social worker visit went well. It was supposed to be a visit from the kids mom but she was a no show. It was very interesting to watch the kids react. Lily would have little defiant moments and I would correct her. She would be looking at me out of the side of her eyes to see how I would react. I reacted like a mom, I hope that was what she was looking for.
Dimples, well, in true non-attachment form was a little angel. None of her whining or tempers. She did get caught lying. I think that it is hard to stop lying when that is all you know to do. She also is currently on the couch downstairs. That night she was caught in Larissa's bed for the last time. I am tired of either locking Larissa's door or having Larissa sleep in our bedroom. There are reasons why Dimples can not be in Larissa's bedroom, trust me on this. So, we are doing a big bedroom shuffle. We are setting up the FROG for Anthony and Dimples will go into Anthony's bedroom. Of course, this is having to happen while I am studying for finals and writing my papers and preparing for Thanksgiving.
I have to do some changes in the FROG because the laundry room is at the far end. I need to build some type of partition. Anthony wants me to paint his room. I think we are going to do an underwater scene.....well, I will paint it and Anthony will tell me what he wants. He wonders why it isn't finished yet. Geez, I haven't started yet! Furniture will be moved by this weekend though because the foster kid can't stay on the couch. Anthony is excited for the move.
Jason's birthday is Friday and I haven't gotten him a gift yet. It is followed with Sarah and then Tasha's birthdays. November is a busy time for birthdays. You can probably guess where I will be today....shopping.
Have a great day.
Social worker visit went well. It was supposed to be a visit from the kids mom but she was a no show. It was very interesting to watch the kids react. Lily would have little defiant moments and I would correct her. She would be looking at me out of the side of her eyes to see how I would react. I reacted like a mom, I hope that was what she was looking for.
Dimples, well, in true non-attachment form was a little angel. None of her whining or tempers. She did get caught lying. I think that it is hard to stop lying when that is all you know to do. She also is currently on the couch downstairs. That night she was caught in Larissa's bed for the last time. I am tired of either locking Larissa's door or having Larissa sleep in our bedroom. There are reasons why Dimples can not be in Larissa's bedroom, trust me on this. So, we are doing a big bedroom shuffle. We are setting up the FROG for Anthony and Dimples will go into Anthony's bedroom. Of course, this is having to happen while I am studying for finals and writing my papers and preparing for Thanksgiving.
I have to do some changes in the FROG because the laundry room is at the far end. I need to build some type of partition. Anthony wants me to paint his room. I think we are going to do an underwater scene.....well, I will paint it and Anthony will tell me what he wants. He wonders why it isn't finished yet. Geez, I haven't started yet! Furniture will be moved by this weekend though because the foster kid can't stay on the couch. Anthony is excited for the move.
Jason's birthday is Friday and I haven't gotten him a gift yet. It is followed with Sarah and then Tasha's birthdays. November is a busy time for birthdays. You can probably guess where I will be today....shopping.
Have a great day.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Social Worker Visit
Tomorrow my new kids social workers and GAL will visit. I told Lily that they were coming and that she wasn't going to school in the morning. I waited as long as I could to tell her.
Her reply, "they are coming to move us, I won't leave my room."
Moving children often does have an impact.
Her reply, "they are coming to move us, I won't leave my room."
Moving children often does have an impact.
Between Medical Visits
We rounded up our week with a visit to the hospital this afternoon to get a chest x-ray for our teen. It was not a good week for us medically wise.
Between visits I did try to get some projects finished. Apparently none of our children have the ability to hang jacket up on a hanger or know where to put their stuff.
So, I added a piece of board and added some hooks. This project actually took me weeks to complete because I couldn't find my stud finder. It had to be attached to the studs to hold the weight I know it will hold. Uh, fortunately I found it on Friday.....on my desk. Two projects finished: cleaning my desk and adding hanging hooks.
We will see if they actually use them or not. A mom can only try and they have no excuses.
I also finished my table and found an area rug at Lowe's. I couldn't find a before picture of my Craigslist table. It was a very used dark cherry wood. I don't do dark wood so it had to be totally reworked. I now have a table and 1 chair....slow going.
Between visits I did try to get some projects finished. Apparently none of our children have the ability to hang jacket up on a hanger or know where to put their stuff.
So, I added a piece of board and added some hooks. This project actually took me weeks to complete because I couldn't find my stud finder. It had to be attached to the studs to hold the weight I know it will hold. Uh, fortunately I found it on Friday.....on my desk. Two projects finished: cleaning my desk and adding hanging hooks.
We will see if they actually use them or not. A mom can only try and they have no excuses.
I also finished my table and found an area rug at Lowe's. I couldn't find a before picture of my Craigslist table. It was a very used dark cherry wood. I don't do dark wood so it had to be totally reworked. I now have a table and 1 chair....slow going.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
When Your Foster Child is Injured
When you have a foster child in your care everything is scrutinized....by everyone. Everyone looks at the child's clothing, hair, cleanliness, bumps and bruises. If you walk out of the house with a clean kid and somehow end up with a dirty one by the end of your excursion it must be because you aren't taking care of the child like you should. Social workers are in your home on a monthly basis. Not everyone is willing to open up their lives and homes to the scrutiny.
When you have a foster child every injury has to be reported and documented. When they have an injury that is more serious then you have the worry of the child and the worry of a possible investigation. I understand the need. Children have been hurt while in foster care. Not every foster parent provides the level of care that they should. Some are even neglectful or abusive.
Friday was such a day. It started out a great day but quickly became one with multiple medical issues. First our teens school called saying that she was complaining of chest pain. A quick visit to the doctors resolved that issue and it was minor so I will call her SW on Monday to tell her what is happening.
Then we received a call from Lily's school saying that she had fallen and hurt her eye. John went to go pick her up and we requested an incident report. That incident report clears us of any wrong doing. Little did we know what this fall would entail. Shortly after bringing her home she starting vomiting. John went to the emergency room and I followed after picking the other kids up from school. In the end we ended up being transferred by ambulance to the children's hospital in the big city and John got to spend another night in the hospital. Thankfully she was released this afternoon after she kept her breakfast down.
Friday I couldn't reach anyone in the DSS office because they had the day off. I emailed all workers who would need to know. Then this morning I called the counties sheriff office to see if they could get a message to the DSS worker on call. They did and she called me back. So I have reported as I should and I will give them a copy of the incident report from the school. It was actually a relief that this happened at school. There should not be any investigation.
We have never had an investigation. However, we know that there is always the chance that something will happen in our home. We are very open with our social workers about any issues that we have. We have even told them about our little screamer in case one of our neighbors calls. Actually I am thinking about going and talking to each one of them about our little one. They are familiar with our kids coming and going but we have never had a screamer to the extent that this child is. She has some very good lungs.
Sometimes I find that I am quicker to take a foster child to the doctor then I do my own children. I don't think that a child needs to be seen for a typical virus or minor illnesses. However, if a foster child gets sick I take them in just in case. I wonder how many other foster parents do the same. Actually I hear that some have the social worker take the child. Seems strange to me since the foster parent should know best what is going on.
Sometimes I do wonder how different each state is in the foster care rules and regulations. Each state has their own rules and subsidies. South Carolina is among one of the lower paying states, starting at $332/month. If you are a foster parent in another state and have noticed that something is different in your area please comment and let me know. I know that some prospective foster parents read this blog. They may find the information useful.....and I am curious.
It has been a long 2 days and I am once again going to bed before midnight. This night owl is suffering. Hope everyone has a great evening.
When you have a foster child every injury has to be reported and documented. When they have an injury that is more serious then you have the worry of the child and the worry of a possible investigation. I understand the need. Children have been hurt while in foster care. Not every foster parent provides the level of care that they should. Some are even neglectful or abusive.
Friday was such a day. It started out a great day but quickly became one with multiple medical issues. First our teens school called saying that she was complaining of chest pain. A quick visit to the doctors resolved that issue and it was minor so I will call her SW on Monday to tell her what is happening.
Then we received a call from Lily's school saying that she had fallen and hurt her eye. John went to go pick her up and we requested an incident report. That incident report clears us of any wrong doing. Little did we know what this fall would entail. Shortly after bringing her home she starting vomiting. John went to the emergency room and I followed after picking the other kids up from school. In the end we ended up being transferred by ambulance to the children's hospital in the big city and John got to spend another night in the hospital. Thankfully she was released this afternoon after she kept her breakfast down.
Friday I couldn't reach anyone in the DSS office because they had the day off. I emailed all workers who would need to know. Then this morning I called the counties sheriff office to see if they could get a message to the DSS worker on call. They did and she called me back. So I have reported as I should and I will give them a copy of the incident report from the school. It was actually a relief that this happened at school. There should not be any investigation.
We have never had an investigation. However, we know that there is always the chance that something will happen in our home. We are very open with our social workers about any issues that we have. We have even told them about our little screamer in case one of our neighbors calls. Actually I am thinking about going and talking to each one of them about our little one. They are familiar with our kids coming and going but we have never had a screamer to the extent that this child is. She has some very good lungs.
Sometimes I find that I am quicker to take a foster child to the doctor then I do my own children. I don't think that a child needs to be seen for a typical virus or minor illnesses. However, if a foster child gets sick I take them in just in case. I wonder how many other foster parents do the same. Actually I hear that some have the social worker take the child. Seems strange to me since the foster parent should know best what is going on.
Sometimes I do wonder how different each state is in the foster care rules and regulations. Each state has their own rules and subsidies. South Carolina is among one of the lower paying states, starting at $332/month. If you are a foster parent in another state and have noticed that something is different in your area please comment and let me know. I know that some prospective foster parents read this blog. They may find the information useful.....and I am curious.
It has been a long 2 days and I am once again going to bed before midnight. This night owl is suffering. Hope everyone has a great evening.
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