Monday, August 7, 2017

The Waiting Game

It seems that anything to do with foster care is all about waiting. Waiting for the workers to get back to you, waiting for the court system. Right now we are waiting for two states to talk with each other.  

Our Itty is still looking to go out of state to an aunt. I have not been informed of any progress as of yet. Apparently right now they are in the progress of getting the aunts homestudy done in her state. I was told this could take 6 to 12 months and it looks like that is true. Sad thing is we all know that he is supposed to go but he doesn't. We love on him and tell ourselves that he WILL be going to his aunt. Honestly it helps to guard a small part of your heart. He is at the point where he is starting to prefer one of us to hold him. He doesn't know that at some point he will be ripped away and taken to a new home. It is great that a family member has stepped up, I just wish that the process was quicker.

Our two girls, ages 4 and 5 are a challenge.  Several talks with the social worker and I understand them a bit better.  Their home was deemed uninhabitable.The girls bedroom was the worst of it. Writing all over the walls, trash, clothing and everything else all over the floor. The reason that DSS was called in was because the girls were always wandering the neighborhood without any supervision. It explains a lot. Every day they were trashing their bedroom. Clothing and bedding on the floor. They just throw everything on the floor, trash and all. Toys broken and torn up. Not willing to listen. Fits when we require that they follow our rules. They were allowed to do whatever they wanted at their home, they are not allowed to do that at our home. Having tantrums doesn't change that. Our biggest play area is the garage. They have lost the privileged of going out there after they hurt Benjamin. Both girls weigh about 60 lbs and use their weight to shove each other and Benjamin around. He is sporting a bruise on his forehead from it so they aren't allowed in the garage until they are able to control themselves.

Lately I have caught myself saying that they don't pay me enough for this. When I think that it isn't about the taking care of them it is about the damage they have done to toys and other items. They have to be in my line of sight at all times or they are getting into things. I caught them trying to get into my display cabinet with all breakables. They are always trying to slink off to get into stuff. Our toilet paper cost has skyrocket as the younger one used half a roll and clogs the toilet often. We are on a septic tank and at the rate she is going it will need drained quicker than normal. If she isn't clogging the toilet she is stuffing dirty toilet paper in places you don't expect or peeing on the floor. She doesn't seem to mind cleaning her pee up off the floor at all. 

We are working of retraining. So far it has fallen on deaf ears. It is frustrating but we will continue. From how the case has gone we have a lot of time to work on retraining. A grandmother has come forward but she is out of state. If that progresses it will be at least 6 months. They won't be going home to their parents any time soon as the case has had several twists and turns and is no longer what we started with.So we wait. Wait to see if they determine that grandma is a good option. Wait to see how vigorously the parents work to get their kids home.

Yes, the waiting game on all fronts.

1 comment:

  1. I do not know how you do that and keep sane. I would be like, get these kids out of here. You must have a lot of "emotional durability!"