Odds n Ends

Well, I thought that DSS had straightened out the problem with our address being matched with biomom.  Turns out I was wrong. I have received mail addressed to her at my house.  They still have her address as ours.  I was assured that they would correct the problem.  I made some phone calls but wasn't able to actually reach a human. I left several messages but haven't heard back from anyone.  I guess that I am going to have to go further up the chain of command.  This is getting really frustrating.

We haven't heard anything from biomom.  According to her family she wants to have another baby but plans on leaving the state to have it. Knowing what I know at this time, I hope that she doesn't get pregnant again. As far as Benjamin's case goes, she sure did a lot of huffing and puffing and even went to the state to complain about her case, in the end she didn't file an appeal. She hasn't asked for a final visit so I assume that they won't have one.

I received another call from adoptions.  She had more questions for me about him for his file. I think that it is funny that they get all the information from us for his file so that they can call us in to read us the file.

On a great note, the little one we had for respite has found a home.  After 5 rejections her family was found and they are delighted.  She went on a weekend visit and then moved in with her adoptive family the next week. She was such a sweet baby, I didn't understand why so many rejected her.

This has been a long week.  My husband has been out of town for training.  When he was in the army we were used to the separation. However, we have gotten used to him being home every night.  It is strange going to bed alone at night.  I don't sleep as well.

I have been tired anyways because my shoulder is acting up.  I finally went to the doctor this week to get some drug to deal with the inflammation.  Normally when my shoulder acts up I can take the change out of my purse (lots of change) and rest it for a while. Within a week it normally heals up. However, this time around it didn't. The male doctor that I saw asked my why I didn't just carry my purse on the other shoulder.  I told him that I couldn't, I am left shouldered and left handed.  I also use the left shoulder for holding the phone.  Am I odd, does anyone else have a specific shoulder that they use for carrying their purse and such? Bursitis is annoying but in the big picture of life it is manageable. I guess that the combination of carrying a baby and getting old is catching up with me.

We are prepping for school here.  Our schools start on Monday.  We had meet the teacher tonight for Michelle.  Her school has called me several times to see if I wanted to enroll Emma and Larissa. I keep telling them no but they keep calling. Anthony is heading off to the middle school and has orientation this Saturday for half a day.  He is excited and worried which is to be expected.

Honestly, this summer had gone by way too fast. We haven't finished everything that we wanted to do. Also, I have two girls to prepare curriculum for and I have been procrastinating. Regardless of whether we are ready or not, Monday will come and school will start. Anyone else have a short summer?  Is this another effect of getting old?  I was always told that time flies faster the older you get.  Someday's it feels as though that is true.

We have a lot planned for this weekend so we will see summer leave with a blast.

Swimmer in Training

 

Where to Put Those Books?

Homeschooling comes with many challenges but my current one is organization. Where to put all those books and such?  Obviously our bookshelves need some organization.  Obviously I need to declutter.  This isn't our only bookshelf but it is in the area where we will do our work.

Honestly, I would like to just buy new shelving and put all my homeschool stuff on it!

For you homeschoolers out there, how do you organize all your "stuff"? Anyone like to organize and want to come for a visit? I'll cook you some southern food!

Do You Want to Talk Money?

I know that people are curious as to adoption subsidies yet no one wants to talk about it. Yesterday when adoptions called she told me that they had the legally cleared letter, we have been selected, and that we need to negotiate the subsidy.  As required she asked me if we would adopt without a subsidy.  Honestly, I told her yes. After a moment of silence she said that she needed a dollar amount.

Our state is one of the lowest states for subsidies, the subsidy for an infant is $332.  We have been receiving a little more, $380, to offset the cost of transporting him to the heart specialist in Columbia and for the fact that he can't go to childcare so needed a full-time stay at home mom.  They either give extra subsidy or they have to do paperwork to reimburse for mileage after every appointment.  Giving the extra subsidy is easier for them. Little Man is eligible for a subsidy because of several factors; family history of mental illness, his heart condition and the fact that his biomom did drugs and drank while pregnant.  Sometimes things come up after the adoption, Larissa was not diagnosed with epilepsy when we adopted her.

We have been told that the amount to start with is the current foster board payment.  Generally they will then offer a little below that.  However, my husband and I had already discussed it and had decided to ask for $300. We could have asked for a little more but felt that $300 was fair. The negotiation has started and I assume that they won't lower it, however they may. Little Man will also be covered by Medicaid.  We have our own insurance and sometimes that actually causes a conflict. However, that are lots of families that need it so it is great that children who are adopted from foster care will always be covered by insurance.

My husband is out of town this week so we can't meet until next week. Our adoption worker is going to call me after she has finished the subsidy paperwork and the rest of the paperwork.  I am hoping to get to Columbia next week to sign the paperwork.  She also asked me if we needed a lawyer which I said no.  In SC there is a reimbursable allowance for the lawyer of $1500.  Our lawyer doesn't charge us, he simply sends his bill to the state.  Not all lawyers do that.  She also told me that there were open dates for adoption in November, I hope to get it done before then but if not, adoption will be in November!

The Call

Fetus - unborn offspring

Typically I don't talk too much about current social issues other than adoption/foster related things. However, I am going to say it, there was a time in which I was pro-choice.  Abortion was something I personally would never do but I didn't feel that it was my right to make that choice for others. After I had Tasha and before Sarah was born I actually miscarried.  To me it was losing a child.  As soon as I learned that I was pregnant I visualized my future child. I loved that child. I cared for that child. I was devastated when I lost that child.

Medicine Net defines a fetus as: An unborn offspring, from the embryo stage (the end of the eighth week after conception, when the major structures have formed) until birth.       

Where in that description does it say that a fetus is a bunch of unfeeling cells that can be discarded at any time.  Any woman who has been pregnant long enough can feel their child move, feel the child react to different stimulus, sounds and even caffeine. That child is kicking, punching and head butting your bladder.  That child has nerves and can feel. It is an unborn offspring, a child who has all of its major structures formed by 8 weeks.

People get upset by the killing of a lion, work hard to save turtles and many other animal causes yet there is no such uproar about the death of many unborn offspring. I don't know if the reports are correct or not about the selling of aborted babies by Planned Parenthood but if they are then I have to wonder how neutral they are when a pregnant woman walks into their offices.  How much nicer it would be if that pregnant and scared woman had a different office she could go to for support to have her child.

There was a time in which women had no rights, African Americans had no rights, children had no rights, Perhaps it is time for unborn offspring to have some rights.

As I have gotten older I have shifted to pro-life.  However, I realize that it is not an easy issue.  It is a complex problem and our society has made it too easy to use abortion as birth control.  It takes a change in society that I don't see happening any time soon. Actually, our society seems to be heading towards self-destruction.

Never a Dull Moment

Saturday morning the police came to my door.  They wanted to know where our little black Toyota Corolla was located.  When we bought Kassi her car we gave Jason our Corolla.  We haven't changed the title over yet so they traced it to us.  I asked why they were looking for the Toyota.  They said that the car was involved in a police chase that morning in a town about 40 miles away.  Uh, I said that I doubt it was my son, he doesn't ever go there, works nights and always stops for the police and waits for me to bail him out. I give them Jason's address and tell them that he has a 100 lb dog who barks but is not violent in any way.

They left, I called Jason.  After several attempts I finally wake him up.  I asked him why he was in that other county.  He didn't know what I was talking about.  I asked him if he had lent out his car.  He said no.  I told him that his car was involved in a chase with the police and got away.  At that moment he looked out and realized that his car was not in the driveway.

He had friends over the night before and he thinks that one of them took his keys and his car. Nice friends.  The police get to his place and he files a report for a stolen vehicle. He was very upset that one of his friends would do that. He was shocked that they would do that.

Thankfully by Saturday night his car was found.  By that time he was at work so we called on Sunday about his car.  It had been towed back to town but they weren't open on Sunday so we had to wait until this morning to get it.

This morning we went to get his car.  The car had been left at a church in the next county over and there was no damage.  They even left his key in the console. We paid $200 towing fee and he took it back home.

The police did dust it for fingerprints but I doubt that they will find the person.  I imagine that the odds are higher that Jason will find out who it was.

Our insurance will reimburse us the towing fee because we selected the towing option.  If we didn't have the towing option we wouldn't have gotten that fee back, it would have gone against the deductible which is higher than $200.

Sometimes I feel as though I just can't prepare my kids well enough for the outside world.  My kids can't imagine taking a friends keys and car, going to someone's house after they get off work and threatening them, trying to rob someone as they leave work.  These are things that they simply wouldn't do.  However, in some ways they aren't prepared for those that do these things.

In the last few weeks a couple of girls have been killed by teenagers in our country.  Then my 9 year old wants to go out front and ride her bike.  I find myself leery of allowing that.  I know that they would fall victim to someone trying to lure them.  They can't imagine that someone would want to actually harm them. Kids fall victim because they don't really understand that there is evil out there. It exists.  It is real. as a parent I try to shield my kids from some of that.  However, I then worry that they aren't prepared.  How do you find that balance?  How do you prepare your kids for the moment when they come up against those that look to harm them? This is something I am still working on.