Thoughts

I wasn't going to write anything about Friday's tragedy.  As I watched the incident unfold I was shocked and deeply saddened that someone would attack babies.  I pray for all those families in CT.

I think that everyone out there has already said many things about it and I don't have anything profound to add.  I will however say that everyone is quick to jump on gun laws.  I think that the problem is deeper.  The problem is that there are people out there who are willing to kill babies.

I don't know yet what the situation was in this case but I would have to suspect mental illness.  I know what the struggles are for parents to get good mental health care.  It is tough.  It is isolating for the parents.  For the children there is bullying and rejection from peers and society in general.  There are a lot of families out there struggling with mental illness with nowhere to turn. 

If our society continues to ignore this problem then it will not simply go away.  I imagine that there is someone out there thinking that they will top that shooting.  These are scary times.

As I spent time with my 6, 7 and 7 year old children over the weekend I knew that this incident could have happened in my community as well.  As a country I would hope that we could unite and realize that we need to get to the root of the problem.

Moving Along

Today our teens GAL visited. Hopefully after the tour of our house he will give a positive report on Monday!  The house was a mess.  What can I say? It is what it is and we didn't really prepare for his visit.

He probably got a clue when I answered the door.  I was upstairs belt sanding a high spot on the floor when he showed up.  I answered the door and then stepped outside to pat off all the sawdust that I was covered in.  Yep, a definite clue of our craziness.

Then he sat down and asked how many kids we had........

(The state says that the paperwork will be at the courthouse on Monday for the adoption so we are on for Monday at 11am.)

Paperwork

Our adoption lawyer called us today.  They have everything ready on their end for the adoption on Monday at 11.  Our teens GAL is supposed to meet with her this week,.  We missed his call today but will set up a meeting tomorrow.

HOWEVER, the state has not sent our lawyer the required packet of paperwork.  If he doesn't receive that packet we will not be able to do the adoption until next year.  Yep, we are waiting on paperwork that should have already been done.

Please pray!

Sticking with the Consequences

 

We had plans this weekend....making ornaments with some friends and lots of glitter.

 

Most of us had a great time.

 

It may take a very long time before the house is glitter free.

 

Anthony went with John to a gun show, leaving all the girls at home to play.

 

Unfortunately two girls didn't get to play.

 

We have been dealing with early morning rising combined with early morning waking of everyone in the house.  We have been dealing with this for over a year now.  We have told the girls that if they get up and it is still dark that should be a clue to go back to sleep....or to read quietly.  We tried turn the TV on and watch some TV.  Play quietly.  Play Nintendo DS. 

 

Nothing has helped. 

 

We have Larissa in our bedroom because they would wake her and she really needed her sleep, her seizures seem to effect her sleep. 

 

Now Tasha has gotten home to voice her complaint of their loudness.

 

What I find interesting is that they get up earlier on the weekends then they do for school.  I wake them at 6:30 on school days. 

 

They will laugh at the teens when they ask them to quiet down.  Disrespect towards the teens has gotten very bad lately.

 

So, three weeks ago we started a new strategy.  If you wake everyone before 7 am then you will lose any privileges in the house and will not be able to participate in fun activities.

 

The first weekend they lost their Wii time.

 

The second weekend they did well and played quietly (so I know it is possible).

 

However, this weekend they had played a lot of Wii and weren't so concerned with losing it so....back to square one.  However, they didn't realize that I had invited some friends over to make ornaments.

 

  They lost out.

 

  It was actually very hard for me because I wanted them to be able to make ornaments.  Sometimes consequences are just as hard for us as it is for them.  I like for my kids to have the opportunity to play with glitter.  However, even more so is I want for them to learn to respect the others in the house.  Until they do so, they will miss out.

 

Not sure what it is yet, but next weekend there will be another opportunity to participate in a family activity....or not. 

 

 The choice will be theirs.

 

 

Holidays

 

Every year I get the kids a new ornament. 

Sometimes they have special meanings and sometimes they are just cute.

 

 

We gave the kids theirs and they all put them on the empty tree....they put them all together.

 

We still haven't finished the tree and there is a strand of lights that is out.  Perhaps it will be finished in time for Christmas.

 

I am waiting to see if Christmas brings behavior problems.  So many kids who have been in care have bad holiday memories and will act out at that time.  Last Christmas the two little ones had not been with us long and were very much exhibiting behavior problems but I don't think that they were from the holidays.  This year they are doing so much better so we will see how it goes.

 

I have noticed over the years that the holidays can be a painful time for many folks, not just folks who have been in care.  It is supposed to be a festive family time but there are so many expectations. 

 

I know that with myself it is the time when I make my annual call to my dad....which will last a few minutes because he doesn't know what to say to me since he doesn't know me anymore.  He doesn't know how many kids I have or even their names. Honestly, I miss having a dad and I wish that my kids could have had a grandfather.  But, it isn't something that I can change so over the years I have learned to accept it and enjoy the family that I do have.  Still, there is a feeling of loss.

 

So, as I embrace Christmas I want to have some fun....and create something.

 

Last minute Santa project is a library.  Larissa loves to play librarian so I decided to make a library check-out desk.  I am using a very old dresser.  My family does not envision it that way I do.

 

Stripped down and ready for some modifications.

More to come.......hopefully this is a project I will finish before school is out for break!

 



Our Family

According to Michelle.....

Well, at least we are all smiling!  :)

Mama, you are too nice!

Last week Joselin spent a few days at our house.  She is having issues with her roommate and asked us to pick her up.  Tasha was able to go and get her and her stuff.  She was able to find a new roommate and has moved in.  She will be taking her dog next week since she will be sharing a duplex with a yard.

While she was here she came up to me and said, "Mama, you are too nice."  I looked at her and she responded with, "and I took advantage of that."

I am too nice.  Really, I am very patient and very quick to forgive. I give fair and when possible natural consequences for behaviors. Sometimes I get hurt because of that.  But, that is who I am.  I refuse to get too bitter about those who take advantage of me because I am "nice."

That fact that Joselin can acknowledge that she took advantage of my "niceness" shows how much she has grown.  She is so much happier and is rebuilding relationships with her siblings.  Funny, I can see the forgiveness in some of my children as well.

So what was my response to Joselin.....I know I am and that is who I am.  I knew that she took advantage of that but wasn't going to allow her actions to change who I am.

Where would our relationship be today if I wasn't so "nice"?  I don't think that we would be where we are if I wasn't.