Sometimes I feel like I am raising two different families, those who realize that good behavior brings good things and those who just don't want to take responsibility for their actions.
I try to take everyone to events like movies but that doesn't always happen. I took all the kids to go see the new Marvel movie. Those that don't really know us probably wonder why they get excluded often. Those that know our family well asked me why I was taking them as they had both been yelling at me and lying to me the day before. Truly, they won't see having benefits as a reason to try to improve behaviors, they only see it as I was weak. I tell them I am giving them grace.
Everyone is doing karate except for Anthony and Emma, their choice. I am trying to have an activity that is not dependent on behaviors.
Anyone else dealing with kids that seem to try and sabotage you and make you feel like you have an enemy living in your home. My kids all have a chore that they do. One day I asked the floor person to please do a good job, I wanted to vacuum and I had three people coming the next day.
I get this....
Did she take trash from the trash can and throw it on the floor to make is worse? I got to sweep and then mop. The next day she got to help me with a chore, cleaning baseboards.
It is a challenge with kids that are so disrespectful, lie, fight any house rule and then kids who do what they need to. I feel like we don't get to do stuff as a family because someone has to stay behind with the kids who don't cooperate. The kids who do what they need to do often miss out on stuff because sometimes I just don't have a babysitter or am just too frustrated to care to get out of the house.
We planned a summer cruise over a year ago. At the time we put everyone on the cruise. Just last month we had to make the final decision and we had to drop Emma and Michelle. They were to room with Sarah and they are so disrespectful and nasty to Sarah and she said that she couldn't deal with them. We have childcare set up. Actually Michelle will be going on a mission trip with the youth for part of the time we are gone. We already had a plan of Jacob. Now I need to figure out our newest foster kid.
I know we aren't the only ones dealing with this. I often second guess myself but feel strongly that they need to learn that lying and disrespect will not get them many benefits in life. Who else is dealing with this? Please share.
I've dealt with this for years, first with Lexi and now often with Meghan. It's such a hard place to be in.
ReplyDeleteWell, you know I have and you also know what our August was like. A big shift happened around Christmas (she ran away in November, but wasn't even gone a full day that time.) Since Christmas she has been working on her healing as if her life depended on it. I have no advice except find a way to get them the healing they need and respite for yourself and the others. Honoring your struggle, lady. I know. Really I do.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. Mine are actually in some activities now, but they know it can end as quickly as it started. Both have summer city track and start running with the high school cross country team for summer practice starting in two weeks. He just signed up for summer basketball league and they both know if there is an incident, it doesn't matter what they thought they were doing that evening or the next day, they chose not to do it. They can explain to coaches that stealing something was more important than coming to practice.
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