Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Foster Care After Adoption

Last night Larissa asked me why she was the only one of the girls to have curly hair. Talking genetics to a 4 year old is not possible. I did talk about her other mom who did have curly hair just like her. I have asked for a picture of her biomom and haven't received one yet. I think that I really need one.

Sometimes I think that explaining adoption to a child who was a foster child is harder then explaining foster care to a child whose mom made an adoption plan. How do you tell a child that their mom was not able to care for them so the courts took away their parental rights? That their parents didn't do what was necessary to get them back? I don't want my child to feel that they weren't worth the effort, because they definitely are. It's not their fault, they did nothing wrong.

When we receive foster children and my kids get attached, how do I explain why the foster child is going home and they didn't? Why some parents are able to work their plan and theirs don't? Will it bother them watching other kids going home?

They still ask me about K. I have found out he is doing well and have shared that with them. I use him as an example, that some foster kids go back home.

There is always some pain involved with foster care, attaching to a child and then letting them go is hard. It is hard for everyone in the family, not just the adults.

Kids seem to adapt well, sometimes I wonder if I just worry too much about stuff.


  1. I tend to worry too much about everyone and everything. I also tend to get attached to children easily. I do childcare in my home and when one of the kids leaves, I feel like a part of my heart is leaving with them. I think that's why I have been a little scared of doing foster care. Someday when we get a bigger house, I think it will be in our future.

    Tough conversations you have to have, but I know you are doing an amazing job. Just the fact that you have thought it through so much shows that.

  2. Yea, each kid is different. Some we knew would go home, either to parents or grandparents. Others we still miss and some we were happy to see move on. You just never know what will come your way with foster care.

    I can see where it would be really hard if you are looking to adopt.