Keeping Busy

I have been trying some new things to keep busy. Naturally, I am still painting rocks. However, I am now painting some jewelry pieces.

The weather can’t decide what to do. We had a few days of high temperatures and now today it got cool. Kids sneak in pool time whenever they can.

We continue to watch the grandbabies. Our circle is big but what do you do? We have a big family. Tasha is obviously working as she is a respiratory therapist.

Trying a different dripping technique.

Plus some regular paint pours.

I am almost finished with Benjamin’s bedroom and will share pictures tomorrow. I am trying to decide on my next project. I have some that need finishing.

What is everyone doing? Besides my normal mom duties, I am deep cleaning, decluttering and creating. However, sometimes I have to really fight to do anything. Seems like I’d rather just sit and watch Netflix shows all day.

More Comments

In my previous post I wondered if those comments were made because they were adopted. I wondered that because I find that some people feel that they can say things about adopted kids that they don’t say about my biological kids. Some folks also feel more open to take about foster kids.

We treat our adopted kid like, well, our kids because that is what they are. We also try to treat our foster kids as our kids as much as we can. We don’t give them cheaper gifts, don’t buy them cheaper clothing and try to take them on our vacations when possible.

For some reason this bothers people. I have had multiple folks tell me that we are hurting the kids by giving them our lifestyle because they will go home to a lower standard of living. However, now they will know the difference. This actually got me thinking. Do we harm kids by taking them from their economic status, sharing ours and then sending them back. What do you think?

I believe that there may be some of that feeling for the older kids. But we have also taught so much that is not material. We take them to church, share family time as we all sit together for dinner (something so foreign to all our foster kids), allow them to feel security, show them a different way a family can function, try to teach some values and different ways to deal with conflict, share our love of travel and the arts, show them alternatives for living. Some of it may stick and some of it may not. Long term we really don’t know the impact. Of course, we hope that there will be a positive impact for the children who come through our home.

Recently I received a phone call from a friend. She was in Columbia and saw one of our previous foster kids. She said, “Felicia, he has Anthony’s hair style!” Who knows what other impact was made.

Strange Comments

I have now had two people tell me that we do wrong by our kids because they will not be able to afford the things we give to them when they grow up. For example, someone told me that I shouldn’t buy Anthony his designer shoes because when he grows up he won’t be able to afford them. Just yesterday I was told that our kids won’t be able to option our level of income so is it fair to them to expose them to it. Both times I was shocked. For one, don’t write my kids abilities off. Then I am confused. So we shouldn’t be taking the kids on vacations because they won’t be able to afford them as adults? Huh?! I enjoy sharing vacation time with my kids. I find that train of thought to be strange and insulting. But now I have two people tell me that so it makes me wonder. Also, allowing Larissa to follow her dream is wrong as well. 

We are doing ok financially. Yes, by world standards we are rich. By US standards we are not rich but we are comfortable. We didn’t start that way. Our first place was an apartment. Our first home a $70,000 starter home in St. Louis. We talk to the kids about that. About working hard and starting at the bottom. We also tell them not to expect to get rich with a big inheritance, divide that bit of money by 11 doesn’t add to much. However, we do offer the opportunity to go to college with Johns GI Bill. In our state they can get free tuition if they go to a state college. They also can receive about $1000/month if they are going full time. Sarah is going to a private Christian school so she doesn’t get the free tuition but does get the monthly stipend. This also applies to trade school. It is there and available if they strive for it.

My dad was an electrical engineer and was very comfortable. He took us on vacations and bought us our first car. I sure hope that no one said to him that he shouldn’t do that for us because we would not be able to afford those things when we were adults. Is it because they are adopted that people have such low expectations for them? Is this a normal thought process?

Anyway, late night ramblings. The comments bothered me the first time. Now that someone else has said it I don’t know what to think. Go buy the kids lower value things because they won’t be able to afford those things as adults?! Don’t give them all we do so they aren’t used to experiencing what we give?! What do you guys think? As you read do you feel the same way?

Miguel

I don’t write too much about my adult kids. I haven’t written about the challenges with Joselin and I won’t go into too much detail. I will say that one of the requirements for living in our home for her was that she didn’t expose our kids to her lifestyle. I am a very open minded person and very understanding but she does some things the kids don’t need to be around. Well, she was not abiding by that and we asked her to leave. A few months later some things happened and I asked her if she needed us to take Miguel for a bit. She asked us to watch him for 4 days in October. Then until the end of the year and then indefinitely. Obviously we said yes.

When we got him he was way overweight and his breathing was affected by it. He is still a hefty kid and actually hurts my back to carry him around! However, his breathing is no longer labored. He was also not walking well and not talking. He quickly caught up with the walking but speech has been slower. He is not starting to babble which is good.

We don’t know how much longer we will have him. When the malls closed down we offered for Joselin to come home and parent him. She chose not to. We had a heated discussion and she said she was coming home to get him. I told her that she couldn’t take him and as a mandated reporter I couldn’t let him go with her. She backed off. Says she will get him after all this quarantine is over. I am not sure about that. I find it difficult because I don’t have all the rights to him. I can’t just change doctor and such. We are completely supporting him and taking care of all his needs. He is a happy baby and I can’t believe that he will be 2 in July. I am at a loss with this one!

Status

We are doing well here. I have been busy as my next room to conquer was Benjamin’s room. It is slow going. I find that I lack motivation!

This room was a dining room, my moms room and then an office. It had no closet so I had to build one and then we went with wallpaper and red paint. Also painting the ceiling and have trim work to do. What was I thinking?! All those projects in one room!

Today I realized that I didn’t figure the wallpaper right and I am short. No longer stocked where I originally bought but luckily found some on eBay.

Anyone ever paint walls red? It take at least three coats to get good coverage. I figured it would be ok since I was just looking to do below the chair rail. Red was Benjamin’s request, it is his favorite color. I hope it stays that way for a while!

The kids are getting a bit restless. I won’t take them anywhere. We happen to live in the county with the most cases of Coronavirus in SC. Stores are empty and people are either being really cautious or don’t seem to care. There have been a lot of complains about teenagers hanging out together in various locations. Kids are out of school for a reason.

I end up grocery shopping too frequently because of milk and lack of supplies. I had to go to a few stores to find and milk and today I would have been in luck if I wanted chicken feet.

i chose to pull out some frozen hog instead. Haven’t cooked hog before so new to me. We are planning on making pulled pork for dinner. Will have to be sandwiches as I am not going out to look for buns. Those are hard to find anyways, I was lucky to get bread.

Are the stores this was where you are living? It is so strange. A few weeks ago we were looking forward to our DC trip and planning a New York trip and Guatemala trip. So far the DC trip and New York trips are cancelled. Everything has come to a stop. The teens talk about it all the time and last night I realized that Benjamin is starting to have anxiety over it. Last night he slept all night touching me. He slept well, me not so much. He is young and doesn’t understand. Heck, I am old and don’t understand. Well, I do but it seems like we are in a movie and the zombies will show up at any moment. Surreal.

I have been coming to my office in the evening to paint lately. Connected with some Facebook friends by having a painting virtual party where I showed how I paint koi fish. I think I will do another one.

I have also been painting rocks. Most of them are on my Instagram. 

Today my husband came home early. He will be working from home for a while. He is a federal employee and will continue to get paid. Jason isn’t working right now, he had a coworker test positive. Tasha is working, of course, she is a respiratory therapist. Kassi is still working at Lowe’s and Joselin isn’t working as the mall closed. Jason is home and we offered to let Joselin to come home and take care of her child, she said no. I will talk more on Miguel tomorrow.

I know that we truly are blessed in that we still have incomes and the ability to go buy food. So many others are struggling with the basics or serious medical problems. I wonder what our new normal will be moving forward.

My Space

I finished my space today. We have had kids bedrooms and play spaces in here over the years. Emma and Michelle totally trashed the space so I decided to make it mine.

I am happy with it. I don’t have all my craft supplies in it yet as they are all over the house, but I am trying!

I gave Larissa a corner for when she wants to homeschool in my space.

In celebration I painted a rock tonight. My treat for keeping at it. I do need to paint the stairwell but that will be later. Next is Benjamin’s bedroom.

Maintaining Peace

As a mom to many kids during these times of upheaval I work hard at maintaining peace within myself to calm the kids. For the most part I have been able to do that. I know that we are blessed in so many areas. My husband is still working, we don't have childcare issues because the kids are out of school, we even have toilet paper. We are truly blessed.

However, when I stop and think about it, the hardships so many are going through, how the world will look so different when we come out of this, hope that something positive shines through, I get overwhelmed.

This morning Benjamin woke up with a fever. He was crying and holding his head, said his forehead hurt. I knew he had a sinus issue. I called his doctor with the symptoms of cough, fever and hurting head. We were told to park in the back and call them when we were there. They would then call us back when they were ready for us. They called us and we met them at the back door. So surreal, so strange. They tested him for the flu and strep, negative. Checked his ears and he had an ear infection. I told them that it was seasonal, he had an ear infection about this same time last year. They checked and he even had the infection in the same ear. They prescribed an antibiotic and then tested for the new virus. She said she didn't suspect he had it but given the size of our family she would like to rule it out. We won't get the results for a couple of days.

We picked up his medication and went home. 

The whole situation just made me feel down. I have been struggling to get anything accomplished. I find that I am just not motivated to do much. I miss the freedom of going out and about. Miss my dates with my husband. Miss church. Miss fellowship. Unhappy that we had to cancel DC and New York trip. And it hasn't even been that long! I think that listening to the news often doesn't help. Not knowing what the future holds doesn't help. There isn't an instruction book for this.

Part of me feels guilty for getting depressed, we have it so good here. But, it is a big change and a lot of uncertainty for everyone.

Tomorrow will be a new day and I will pull myself up. I have no choice, the kids look to me to see how they should be reacting. Tomorrow I will maintain my peace.

How is everyone else doing?

Slow Days

How is everyone doing? Day one of all the kids home and it is slow going. Our school was actually prepared for this situation. All the kids have chrome books issued by the school and they have had what they call Elearning days. They are given their assignments on line and check in and do their assignments. They actually had this set up for when the kids miss school for weather or hurricanes. By doing on line schooling they don’t have to make up the missed days. So today all my public school kids signed on and got their assignments from all their teachers and did their assignments. First day went well. Hope that they keep the momentum going!

Since the weather was nice we also did a little clean up around the pool. When you have 6 kids doing a job it doesn’t take long at all.

I will admit, our yard is in sad shape. We start out strong in the spring and then it gets hot and the weeds overtake us. We are going to try harder this year. Part of the problem is we always have a little one and they just makes it more challenging to get out.

We also realized that 3 of our y’all pine trees has died, we have pine beetles. No way to get a truck back there so we had to find a tree climber to have them removed. What a mess, what am expense!

Today cold weather rolled in. It had been real nice. Tomorrow it is supposed to be cold and rainy so no out door projects. I think I will find one for indoors. I am still working on many indoor projects! They never end.

Anyone doing some home projects during this time of being home bound?

Our Days

It was a nice day here. I decided that I would get the kids motivated to help around the house. Today I offered than San Jose if they picked up the pine cones. Yes, that is something we have to do around here. Benjamin and Vaida spent more time in the tree.

Benjamin noticed the bumble bee in the flowers. We stopped to observe three of them go to each flower. We didn’t stop to smell the flowers, we stopped to watch the bees.

We eat at this restaurant too often but love the food!

I have been working on setting up my new office space. I spent most of the evening organizing paint.

I built the middle paint storage unit with a drawer and wire shelving. I am happy with the look but I know it won’t stay this organized long.

Craziness

What a day it has been! Our emergency placement left this morning. When putting their shoes on I realized that one boy had two left shoes. Different sizes but same shoe. They did not want to leave, they greatly enjoyed Benjamin’s toys. Actually they left crying. I felt bad for them but we really don’t have a long term space for them. They did find them a permanent placement.

After that we made the decision to cancel our Washington DC trip. We had hoped to see the cherry blossoms but that will have to wait until next year. Thankfully Airbnb gave us back our entire payment.

Then by the afternoon we learned that our kids schools are closing for two weeks. There are Coronavirus cases in our county. We can manage it as I stay home but I do wonder how families will deal with it when they are already living paycheck to paycheck. Add daycare or even just all the extra food. I made a grocery store trip just for lunch foods, spent $200. Not a single roll of toilet paper to be found. Luckily we have two large packs but that will only last so long with our family size.

I am currently at the point where I grocery shop alone. I normally have some kids with me but I’d rather keep the germs where they are. What is everyone else doing? Do you have positive cases in your area? Are your schools closed?

Vaida and Owen are here for two nights. Tasha works the night shift as a respiratory therapist so we occasionally help out. They will go home tomorrow so I can get back to rearranging my mess of a home!

Today we tried some homemade ice cream recipes. We made one with coconut milk so our lactose free kids could enjoy some.

If you are currently home bound, share how you are passing your time!

Emergency Placement

Our house is undergoing a lot of change as we shift rooms. In other words it is a disaster. So I had told our licensing worker that we would take emergency placements only. Emergency placements are for kids who don’t have an identified permanent foster home. The ones last weekend were moved from their foster home and needed a place until a new home could be found. Our current kids came into care late and they will look for them a placement today, trying to get as many siblings together as possible. Sometimes it takes days to find a placement because of a shortage of foster homes. We actually have taken each child that they have called about. Last night we got a call at 9pm asking if we could take 2 boys for the night, they had just come into care. Actually they were part of a big sibling group. We said yes and waited. By midnight I wondered if they had found a different placement but I waited up anyways watching my taped Designer Challenge. At 1am two very tired boys showed up. They are Benjamin’s age. I can’t imagine him in that situation. They were so tired that I had to carry them upstairs to bed. They insisted on sleeping together and I let them. They were asleep before I even walked out the door.

I warned DSS when they called that I had three grandchildren over. When they showed up Vaida was sleeping on the mattress that is currently stored on the family room floor. She normally sleeps with us. Actually when I woke up at 6am she was snuggled up to me. Owen got up at 6am and drank his almond milk and fell asleep on me. He is currently sleeping on that mattress. I am going to miss that mattress once I decide where to put it.

The boys are getting picked up at 9am. I have been listening for signs of movement but they are still asleep. I imagine that they will be confused when they get up. Yesterday was a long day for them.

Anyone else do emergency placements? It is sad that there is such a need because of a shortage of foster homes.

Babies

Well, getting the baby has been a journey. We had a delay with the original doll artist, she had a daughter get very sick while in the process of creating her baby so I looked around a bit and found another baby. I figured if i had no idea when she could be finished I’d pick up a second doll.

Larissa has named her Faith

Naturally the original baby quickly got finished and on the way.

Larissa named her Grace.

Graces artist was selling some of her own collection to raise money since she was missing so much work. 

Meet Joseph

Then along the way I fell in love with Jacob.

I am not allowed to look at any more reborn babies, I guess I know where Larissa got her love of babies from!