Thursday, February 27, 2020

Confusion

Ok, I will admit that I am in a state of confusion. I skip posting so wonder what subjects I have left hanging! Have I talked about what happened with our neighbor? About homeschooling Benjamin? Miguel? Any other kids?

Tell me! What subject do I need to catch you up on?

Pine straw baskets

Years ago we went to the market in Charleston where they sold pine straw baskets. I thought that they were really interesting and was interested in making one myself. Of course I never had time for that.

I few weeks ago I saw that Hobby Lobby was offering a class in how to make pine straw baskets. I quickly signed up. I really enjoyed the class and the process. The class was 3 hours long and each person completed a basket in that time. I would love to make more but I sure don’t have the time for it right now. It was a beginners class so I don’t know all the different types of ways to manipulate straw. I wouldn’t mind taking another class.

My yard is filled with pine straw but I have so many other projects to do. Perhaps in the future I will have the time and opportunity to make more.

Anyone make these?





Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Changes, busy, changes

I have been so busy. We have also had a lot of changes.

Our teen was moved to a therapeutic home. He had intellectual disabilities that simply weren’t known. The main reason we had to have him moved was because he was very physical. Not to be mean, but just playful yet too physical. Picking a 5 year old up by his head type of physical. For the safety of our kids he was moved. I felt sad for him, he didn’t want to go but I really believe that he would have eventually hurt someone and I wasn’t willing to put anyone at risk.

We also had another kid moved, our 9 year old. He went to a therapeutic home as well. He was also hurting kids but on purpose. He told Larissa that he was like his dad, just wants to have fun and doesn’t matter who he hurts.my concerns were his lack of empathy, lack of attachment, and he was still seeing people. He was finally evaluated and they determined he needed a therapeutic placement. Sad thing is, everyone is relieved that he is gone. He has been here almost a year and was excited to go. He played with Benjamin often and we worried how Benjamin would react. He says that it is good because he was tired of being hurt. He left with a lot of stuff....


Larissa and I were also very busy going to Atlanta, 4 trips to Atlanta. We got snowed on going to runway class, photo shoots and auditions.




Some unedited pictures. It was freezing cold and she even got rained on! She struggles with the cold. She couldn’t feel her hands by the end of the morning but overall she loved it.











My goal for March is to post a little something every day! Come on back...

Sunday, February 2, 2020

Foster Care Update

We are in our declining years of fostering. We have decided that we will not do anymore adoptions. Our family is big. A lot bigger than we ever planned. Our older kids are doing activities that require lots of time. Our desire to be there for our grandkids requires our time. Time has become so valuable to me.

Also, when adoptions told us that we were good enough to foster but not adopt it did have an effect. When placement has not spoken the truth to us, it has had its Impact. When we have been disrespected, it has had an impact.

Interestingly I have spoken to some people in higher places and they told me that the atmosphere at adoptions is that foster homes are good enough for fostering but not adoptions. Many foster parents have complained about it. Good to know it wasn’t only me but sad to know that they feel that way. By time kids get to adoptions they have been in care for years. Why would the family that has been caring for the child all this time not be a good adoptive resource? I just don’t get it.

So where do we stand. Months ago we said we would no longer be an adoptive resource. Nothing has happened. As in nothing. At one point when I complained about their disrespect, adoptions threatened to move my kids to an adoptive home right away. We have one child who is under the adoption umbrella. Ok, wonder if they are having trouble finding a placement. Also, Nothing has happened in court. Nothing. No file for TPR. Nothing.

We also have our foster teen. We are trying to get help with getting her braces but it has been frustrating. She has asked if she can stay when her brother goes to an adoptive placement. We told her yes. Honestly, she is why we are still fostering. As long as she chooses to stay in care and stay in our home we will continue with our foster license. She will age out of foster care in 14 months. She can choose to stay and at this time she says she plans on it. Time will tell.

We have another opening. Occasionally we have taken overnight emergency placements but that is all. Placement has not called us for a regular placement for a while. Are we blackballed? Who knows. Could be, complaining is not allowed. Well, we asked for a placement of a specific child, a teen. Last week another foster parent that was accepting emergency placement of a teen asked for a foster home to take him. He had been sitting at DSS for three days waiting for someone to take him. I can’t imagine being 17 and feeling such rejection. So I talked with the foster mom and his social worker and John and I talked. We decided to step up and offer to take him. Placement did place him with us on Thursday. He turns 18 in July so he fit in with our plans of short term. He is from out of state and I expect that he will head north when he ages our.

How is it going with an 17 year old male? Great. I can tell that he is very much emotionally behind. When he talks about his life it is all about rejection. He constantly thanks us for taking him in. Asked if he could call me mom and John dad. Calls all the kids his siblings. He is so worried about appearing awkward, haha, which he is but aren’t we all. Any time I correct him he runs to the kids and asks if we will move him for that. Oh my! What an unnatural way to live life as a teenager. We will start him in therapy as soon as we get his Medicaid number. He acknowledges that he doesn’t know how to handle it when he gets mad. I did tell him that he cannot hit the kids, that will get him moved. However, if he somehow hits the wall and puts a hole in it, he will get a lesson in wall repair. We haven’t seen any issues but my kids aren’t bullying him. He has been in a children’s home since November and from what he says he was bullied there quite a bit. Don’t tell him, but he is awkward. I can’t quite put my finger on it. A friend asked if he was autistic. Ummm, not sure but I say he is emotionally delayed. So anything different is a magnet for bullying. Lucky for him, we have many awkward kids here. Emma is my other emotionally delayed kid. Not a big deal for us. My biggest concern is he will have to make a huge life decision when he hits 18 but he will have the thought process of someone much younger. Yesterday he went to my husband and told him, thanks for taking me in, I haven’t been in a regular family in a long time. Sums it up why we do what we do.

Seizures

Larissa and I went to her follow up neurology appointment. I was wrong, she did not have 3 seizures, she had 8. Eight seizures during 5 hours of sleep. There is an impact in Larissa’s life. She is always tired. We homeschool because mornings are hard for her. When woken up she typically has a seizure. All night she has seizures. She walks around tired all the time. Pain is more severe because of this. Stubbing a toe brings her to tears and she stubs them often. She struggles with retaining newly learned things and struggles with short term memory.

Interestingly, her neurologist noticed that she has SC Medicaid and moaned. She said that they have people move to NC for epilepsy care because SC Medicaid won’t cover a lot of stuff. Thankfully, Larissa also has Tricare. The medication she is on was not covered by Medicaid and they had to get approval from Tricare to have it covered. I was shocked, it costs $3500/month. I don’t understand why these medications cost so much. I imagine that if we didn’t have other insurance that they would have used a cheaper option. If necessary we would move out of state.

The Medicaid program here in SC is awful. Sarah is now too old to be on our insurance and she is still a student so we have to pay for her insurance, $423 a month. I thought that Obamacare was supposed to ensure that everyone could get affordable insurance. Not true and if your state didn’t vote in the expanded Medicaid the poorest can’t afford insurance. This is the insurance foster kids are on. Our foster teen needs braces. She has headaches from her teeth. Orthodontists are not covered. If we wanted to put braces on her we would have to pay for them! It is simply not in our budget right now. DSS does nothing to help. I have been looking at resources but haven’t found anything helpful yet.



Currently we are slowly increasing Larissa’s medicine dosage, hoping it helps without nasty side effects. Say a prayer!