Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Loss of Siblings

Today we ran into C. He is Larissa and Anthony's older biological brother. We ran into him at Kentucky Fried Chicken, actually I should say he ran to them. He literally came running across the parking lot calling to them.

C is older, he has more memories of my two littles. Anthony seems to remember C from the three years of visitation, Larissa not so much. I know that their older brother D took care of them at times. I would imagine that C did as well.

When my two came into foster care the older brothers were already in care. They have a different father then my two so no attempt was made to place them together. We did offer to take C but he was in a home that was interested in adopting him.

All four of these kids have a younger sibling who came into care while we were in Texas. She was placed in a medically fragile home.....different father yet again.

Five siblings placed in four different homes. Such a loss for these kids.

We do what we can. We are open to meetings and share pictures. However, I know that isn't the same as living in the same home and sharing life experiences.

Joselin has also lost a sibling. She has a younger brother who was placed for adoption in a different hogar making it impossible for them to be adopted together. I am not sure why their birthmother chose to do that because she told Joselin that they would be adopted together. That was a terrible betrayal for Joselin. She can't understand it of seem to forgive her mother for it.

Joselin thought of that brother as her child. She was given the responsibility of taking care of him. She carried him on her hip and tended to all his needs while her mother was gone. That loss has ripped a huge hole in her heart.

We did find her brother, he was adopted by a family up north. We have swapped pictures and she has provided them with a lot of information about his early 18 months. However, she yearns for him. I think that the loss of her brother has been one of the biggest impediments to Joselin's healing.

So, what do I do? I can't give her brother back to her. At this point all I can do is keep the lines of communication open and one day when they are older they can determine where their relationship will go.

Maybe one day we will take a trip up north.........

No comments:

Post a Comment