Blogs

Back when I started this blog I was reading a lot of them. Slowly over the years my favorite bloggers stopped posting and disappeared. I started posting partially because I was reading so many blogs about how fantastic fostering and adoption were. Yes, it can be but there is a totally other side. The part that is hard. Where kids come with behaviors associated with trauma. Where as a foster parent you feel devalued by the system. Even within our society a few rotten foster parents make us all look like we do it for the money.

I wanted to give a little look at the other side. Not to scare people away but to make them aware that it can be hard. That child at your door step doesn’t want to be there. Their ways of survival may not be comparable with your home. Then again, maybe you can touch that one child who just needs a chance.

Everyone who foster or adopts has a different experience. Some more positive and some more negative. I feel that we have had a mix. Some children have healed and flourished. However, some of our children struggle to accept their family. However, at this time even the struggling kids are in school and growing even if in tiny increments.

We have had some foster kids come and go home or to family. We have had kids get TPR and we adopted. Recently we had our little one move to a placement that we hope can better offer him the extra help he needs. That one still breaks my heart, I love him so much. I recognize that I have my limits and worried about long term needs. He got younger parents and currently is an only child. He is where he needs to be to get what he needs. Still, it hurts.

I continue to blog because I feel that I have some readers who have been here since before Benjamin was born. I know some of you pray for success for my kids. I probably also have readers who are skeptical and assume I make stuff up. It is true, I don’t share everything but I feel I share enough for folks to understand our joys and struggles. Sometimes I disappear and struggle and miss big holes which is why I tell folks to let me know if I totally dropped the ball on a subject! I can’t imagine that I have too many new readers as blogging is declining. I can’t imagine anyone going back and reading our whole story of how we got here. I will continue to blog. I am not sure when I will stop. That is why I encourage folks to join my Instagram or send me a Facebook request. At some point I plan on writing a book. Not about our family but about our experiences and a fictional foster child. Kathy Cassel came and helped me with some planning. I hope to well out some time for that in the near future.

Having said all that, anyone reading a good blog? I miss some of my old ones and wonder how the families are doing.