Procrastination

Ok, Ok, I know that I procrastinate. But we did get the pumpkin done before the Trick or Treaters came tonight. Success....and he didn't even drop it taking it to the front porch.

Don't make Sarah mad at you. Sarah and a friend of hers took Larissa and Anthony down our street in search of some good candy.

They lined up down our street. We seem to live on a popular street for candy scavengers.

Hope everyone had a great day and that your weather was as beautiful as ours was. I am loving this fall weather.

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I survived Halloween and now on to Thanksgiving.....

Trunk or Treat

There is a lot of confusion in our town, when to celebrate Halloween. We decided to go to our church and do their Trunk or Treat activities.
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It was nice, lots of food and activities. They had trick or treating in the parking lot out of folks trunks. We headed out to the parking lot to trick or treat early before it got too cold.
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When we started it was quiet and calm and Kiwi did really well. She was even saying her version of trick or treat and thank you. However, as we moved along and more people came out and they started up their music she could not deal with it. She started going up to everyone crying and wanting picked up. Sarah had to take her to the car so the older kids could finish.
The older kids got a good haul so they were happy.
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Sarah won some Halloween donuts on the cake walk which actually look pretty good.

We got home in time to greet trick or treaters. I gave away a lot of candy (they drive into our subdivision for candy). I wonder if we will get kids tomorrow, I don't think I have much candy left.

Tomorrow we will try church again. I am going to a smaller one that should have less kids in the nursery. Maybe that will help with Kiwi's issue. I am not sure what to do about her inability to deal with noise, it can make some activities difficult. Do I just keep exposing her? Do I carry her the entire time? I can't go to church and carry her the entire time in the nursery. They don't have a guide for you to deal with these types of situations. Sometimes I wish that they did.

I need to get back into the studying habit, so I am off to read. Have a great evening.

Just Life

I don't want it to seem that I am complaining about my life. My life is what I want it to be, sometimes overwhelming but mainly just full.
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Tuesday night we got in way too late so on Wednesday morning I just took Anthony to school and then when I got home Sarah got on the bus. I let the three youngest sleep in as late as they wanted.
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When Larissa wandered down at 9 am she came to me with her sleepy demeanor and wanted to cuddle. My baby is almost too big to fit on my lap! When did that happen? We cuddled until the babies got up. Such a luxury, such a pleasure.
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I spent most of Wednesday and Thursday sitting with the babies. My Thursday night class was cancelled so I even slacked on doing my reading.
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I needed that time to recharge. I needed that time to just sit and enjoy the kids. I have a lot going on right now and really needed some time to process some of it.
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It helped. Today I actually took a much needed shower. I have made some plans and John and I have made some decisions.
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I have all the birthdays planned. I am going to do a room redo for Sarah. She gave her fullsize bed to my mom when she moved in and it had to be thrown away when she had her last stroke. So, I have bought a very old full size metal bed frame that needs repainted off of Craigslist. I will have to buy her a new mattress. I am searching for an old end table that I can zebra stripe and something for her TV. Her birthday is in the end of November and my last final is December 6th so a lot of it will get done after that. She will have to pick a paint color. Ahhh, funny, it excites me to have another project.
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Also, I am going to take more classes so that I can finish school quicker. I feel the need to finish so that we can have other options in case John can't get back home. One is the possibility of taking the family overseas. There are units coming into the area next summer. That will be John's best opportunity for getting back home.
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Taking more classes will mean that if DSS is not able to get us ABC vouchers then we will not be able to foster until I finish school. However, if our current foster kids don't go home in December we will not have them moved. We will find a way to manage it. A move would not be in the children's best interest. I am working on Kiwi's attachment issues and I know that the baby is attached. No, a move would not be good for them.
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Adoption plans, not sure where we stand with that. I think that at this time we have to wait to see if John can get back home or if we will go overseas. I still wish someone would adopt Leesia on Reece's Rainbow!
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John is home, all the kids are in bed........it promises to be a great weekend.

I was Kissed Today

Today I was thoroughly kissed.
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My 8 month old grabbed my face with both of her hands and made me look at her. She then opened her drooling mouth as wide as possible and proceeded to kiss, slobber, droll, slime me completely from my glasses down to my chin.
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Yep, I was thoroughly kissed today....pass a towel please.

I did nothing today except for watch babies and clean house. I should have studied or at least gone to bed at a decent hour. I think I just have too much on my mind.
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Joselin. Sigh. I sent her a care package with winter clothing, shoes and a backpack. No response, just entitlement. She is doing fine in school so I guess I should just be happy with that. Why is it I always want more?
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My mom. Sigh. Now she says that she want to come to SC. When we left Texas she wanted to stay there where my two brothers are. They haven't stepped up to the plate and haven't been visiting. How do I get her here? How do I transfer her medicaid? Her needs are too high, I just can't bring her into my home so I would need to be able to transfer her to a nursing home close to me. How do I travel with her, in a wheelchair and incontinent. How do you deal with the incontinence if something happens in the plane? She has friends where she is living, is a move really in her best interest. Should I just try and motivate my brothers? I also sent her a care package with winter clothing, a Halloween outfit and candy.
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Larissa. Sigh. I have come ot realize that although she is no longer having her seizures while going to sleep, she is still having them in the middle of the night. She keeps falling out of bed so one night I had her sleep with me. I was woken at 3 am when she was having a seizure. Seems like every time we go to the doctors they just keep medicating and medicating. Now she is on two different medications. And the falling out of bed......I need to do something about that. I really think she is doing it during a seizure. She doesn't want one of those baby rails. I need to take her bed apart and put her mattress on the floor until I come up with something else. She rattles the entire house when she falls.
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Anthony. Sigh. Sigh....I am looking for a hospital mattress for one of his issues. Pull ups are not sufficient and I am tired of the laundry and buying plastic sheets that he tears up.
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Foster care. Sigh. When we were foster parents before in SC they subsidized (we paid for a small portion of it) child care if you were a full time student. Budget cuts. They no longer do this. Next semester I have to take a class where I have to be in a public school every week for 5 hours. If DSS can't get me an ABC voucher then I don't think that I can continue to do foster care.
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Kiwi. Sigh. I have come to realize that she has attachment issues. She goes to everyone without any discrimination. She came into our home without any tears, just walked in like she knew us and made herself right at home. On top of that, we have also come to realize that she can not deal with chaotic situations. We have had three incidents where there were kids crying in the room and Kiwi had to be held the entire time or she was in tears. We are having problems with church because of this. SW says it is a result of living in an abusive home, yet these kids are supposed to go home where nothing has changed.
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My husband. Sigh. The separation is getting old. There aren't' many job in his area of expertise. What do we do about this? The housing market here is still awful and I don't see it changing anytime soon.
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I worry about my older kids as well. I will not write about them here, but they pull on this mothers heart. I just want to fix it.
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Sarah. Yeah. She is worried about math and is not having the major bullying issues at school. Oh, yes she has the normal drama. All so normal, thank goodness. I still find it funny that she wore her Rugrats shirt when she didn't know that she was going to meet the Rugrat creator. Life is just so funny sometimes.

The baby. Yeah. Growing so fast, making sounds and into everything. Finally over her fear of baths and holding her up in the air. Now they are both delights to her. She is getting attached to us which breaks my heart on a certain level because I know she is leaving.
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Ack. I have 4 birthdays in November! Then Christmas is just around the corner. Wow, where did this year go? I think I will have 9 kids to shop for and I have barely started. It should be an interesting year. I have 56 days until Christmas.
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Thankfully tomorrow is a new day and a Friday at that so John will be coming home. Time to put my worries to the side and head to bed since I can. The bed actually got cleared of all clothing! A huge accomplishment (and only a small amount ended up on the floor).

Have a blessed night.

Foster Parent Banquet

We had our Foster Parent Banquet tonight.
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Free food, free childcare....I was there.
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It was a really nice evening. The food was great and prepared by the social workers. A local girl scout troop provided childcare. They looked a little exhausted when we were leaving.
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They had a guest speaker....Sarah Wilson. She makes these story quilts which are beautiful.

She is also a writer. Much to my Sarah's surprise she wrote the Rugrats. Sarah went up and talked to her after the banquet and she told her that Tommy is based on her son and Angelica is based on one of her daughters. She sure had some tales to tell about her kids. If Angelica is any indication I can only imagine.

Funny, Sarah wore her Rugrats shirt to the dinner. We had no clue who the speaker was going to be. Naturally, my camera died and I couldn't get a picture of them together but a SW did. Hopefully I will receive it someday in an email.

I also found out that my kids court case has been cancelled for this month and they are now going to court on December 10th. No surprise. This means we have them for Kiwi's birthday. Hmmmm....I need to decide what to get for her. It is hard, we have too many toys.

Well, it is getting late and I need to go sort clothing...yuck. No sorting, no bed.

Shortcomings

Welcome to my house!
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My husband calls me Suzie Homemaker and we both know that it is just not true. I would not win any awards for my housekeeping abilities.
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I have numerous shortcomings. One of them is season decorating.
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Notice the front door....no wreath.

You walk in the front door and hit my Craigslist purchase....no fall or Halloween decorations.

Fireplace mantel.....nope.

We do have one lone pumpkin sitting on the front porch courtesy of Sarah. I have another pumpkin sitting in the garage for the kids to do.....sometime before Halloween. No candy is purchased but some outfits have been......all used.

When you walk in my front door you will see this huge plastic bin thingy. It is full of shoes.

My laundry room is way too small and overflows into the hallway....all the time. As a matter of fact I want to move it to the garage. We have a 3800 sq ft home and a closet size laundry room. It had to be designed by a man.

We have one tiny linen closet that does not come close to being big enough. Anyone have mink blankets from Korea....we have 5. None of them fit in there. I have stacks of blankets, towels and sheets everywhere.

Look at that entryway closet....it is laughable. Obviously all our coats don't fit in there. If I ever get my wish and get the laundry room moved to the garage then I will make the old laundry room a coat/linen/shoe closet. It is big enough for that (I think).

Then my biggest problem....laundry

All of this needs sorting. Do you think I will get to bed tonight? It is all clean and no it is not all the laundry. I have both the washer and dryer filled right now and more waiting. Don't get me started on my unmatched sock pile....it grows to enormous heights until I eventually throw it all away and start over.

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Now these are all my shortcoming by far, just the ones nagging at me right now.

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But, hey, I do have a hand towel hanging in my half bath downstairs just in case the social worker comes by.

Helping Hands

I went to Walmart on Friday to buy the playhouse paint. I was surprised to find that they had some paint on clearance, regularly $19.77 for $10. Score, I got all my paint I need (hopefully!).
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As I was painting the playhouse this afternoon and noticed Larissa standing in the doorway watching. It hit me that the kids needed to be involved so I invited her in and handed her the paint brush. After a little instruction I let her loose.
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Serious work, quite often she stuck her tongue out.
Anthony made his way outside and I got him started on the orange. When Larissa saw the orange color she said it was beeaauuutiful.

At the first opportunity she got her hands on that orange paint brush.

The playhouse resident didn't appreciate the painting and headed outside.


What do you think? It is coming along and is quite colorful. I am going to have to design a door and window at some point.

I spent too much time on it this weekend and now have to go and study for two different classes and take an online quiz plus work on a project that is due tomorrow.

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Blessings

I love a Garage Sale

Many Saturday mornings I rise early and hit the garage sales. I go alone. Need I say more....it is MY time to be alone.....no kids. I really love my husband for doing early morning diaper duties so I can go.
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Our foster babies go to court (maybe) next week so they may go home and they may not. If they don't then the baby will dress as a Bumble Bee for Halloween. I love this bright outfit. I loved the price...$1. Can't go wrong with that.
That garage sale was the type I enjoy. Mommies talking about how much stuff the kids end up with and how quickly they outgrow it all.

However, today seemed to be a sad day for garage sales.

I hit one sale where everything had to go by Tuesday at 5pm. They were selling off all of their grandmothers stuff. Literally everything. Her clothing was still hanging in the closets and all her letters were there.

Note to my kids, when I pass away (if dad is no longer living); divide what you want to keep, give all my clothing and shoes to a charity, throw out my personal letters because I don't want folks going through them, sell anything left of value at auction or even at a garage sale in the garage. Don't open my house up and allow everyone to come in and go through every room and closet. Also, please give my plants to someone who has a green thumb.

I did buy a few items. I loved this old tool box....another $1. I went home with a lot of plants. Some were in pretty bad shape but I have hopes that they can be revived. These two were in pretty good shape....

I even bought a piece of wood, I have specific plans for it. That stool is very sturdy. I even got a Christmas duck family, I figured the kids would like it.

I also saw an elderly couple selling out of the back of their car on the side of the road. Made me want to stop and just give them some money. I bought clothing I wouldn't normally buy from a single mom struggling to make it.

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It just seems like lately I see more and more folks having garage sales to make ends meet. When I drive around I see many more houses for sale (a lot of them by owner). A lot more struggling.
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Dang, I am not sure how I went from going to garage sales to how so many are struggling right now....I seem to wander a lot.

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I hope that in the spring I will see a change in the trend. Hopefully our economy will start to grow again.

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In the mean time, I feel extremely blessed.

Ummm....I have a Heart Too!

I could never foster because I would become too attached.
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I could never foster because I couldn't let them go.
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Ohhh, I couldn't foster, I would love them too much.
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If I have one more person tell me that, I may scream.
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I almost feel like they are saying that they have a heart and I don't.
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Guess what? I get too attached, I find it hard to let them go and I love them too much.
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But, it's not about me. I am an adult and I understand what I have signed up for.
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What is hard for me is that the very young babies also get attached, find it hard to leave and learn to love us...........then they leave. Sometimes the homes they go to aren't the best situations. I have no control over that, neither does the child. They don't understand what is going on in their lives and they are too young for me to explain anything to.
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Just being gone for the weekend was hard for my littlest one, she has been very attached to the hip this week, holding on to my hair. I have to pry her hand out of my hair to put her down. Who knows, I may be bald before she leaves!
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She doesn't want to let go.
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At some point I will have to let her go.
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Yes, being a foster parent can be very painful.

Coming Along

I had to make a trip to Lowe's tonight. I got to go by myself after Sarah got home and watched the babies for me. I got some rope and wood.

The kids had to try it out before I finished. I need more boards for the platform and I still have some work to do.

However, the balance beam is finished. They love it.

I got the idea to do a balance beam from the kids, they kept walking on all the wood lying around.

I kind of enjoy it myself and it was so simple to do.

Anyone else have any ideas for simple outdoor play area ideas? I am looking at outdoor musical stuff.

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I am still working on the playhouse. I am currently building a built in bench and am still looking at colors.

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I am off to study tonight. Class tomorrow and I need to work on my online class.

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I am craving an apple turnover.........John wish you were here.

Slow Progress

I am making slow progress in the kids play area. I guess having little ones around and not being able to work on it during the day plus having classes and studying, ohhh....and add a husband living out of town will do that to you.
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A little addition to the play scape. Can you guess what it is for?

Hint: another one a little taller.

That is as far as I got on it. I will post pictures when I finish it....uh, it SHOULD be soon.

On the fostering front I was told today that they have stopped doing ABC vouchers for students, however we are going to try for it because I will have an obligation to be in school during the day. So, we are starting the paperwork on that.

The kids have court next week.....maybe. Apparently they are the B group. Which means they are the alternatives, they will only be seen if the A group is finished. Great. If they don't get seen then the next open court date is in December. They have one court date in December.........I am considering what the kids need for Christmas. Kiwi needs a ride on toy, not sure what else at this time.

This is actually a complicated case. Very unusual and I can't tell about it! I really don't know what to expect. All I know is the kids are getting attached. The baby spent most of the day on my hip (when they didn't have visitation) and has been very needy. She does not like for me to leave the room at all. Kiwi doesn't mind if I leave the room....she just follows me.....everywhere. Since they had visitation today they had early naps and the baby didn't get a second one so they are back on their sleep schedule.

I just realized that there is a good chance that Kiwi will be here for her 2nd birthday....hmmmm, what to get her?

I know that the kids are in care for a reason but I always feel bad for the parents who are missing all the developmental stages. I know that they could do what they need to do and get them back, but I still feel slightly guilty for getting to experience all those firsts. Is that odd or what?

Well, I am going to go to bed and read a gossip rag. I am taking the night off....I need to look for some chocolate.

Nite!

Conflicts

I knew that it was going to happen....conflicts.
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My school academic advisor wants me to take a class next semester that involves 5 hours a week in a classroom. I know it doesn't sound like much but.......uh, little ones can't go with me.
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When we fostered before we were able to get ABC vouchers to pay for part of the day care for our foster children if either you both worked full time or went to school full time. Well, due to the dreaded budget cuts they say that they are not providing ABC vouchers for full time students anymore.
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Nice....not
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Our foster children have court at the end of the month and it is possible that they may go home....of course, they may not too. This is a different case. If they don't go home then it is quite possible that they will be here into the new year. Which means I will need to pay for daycare for two little ones if I want to meet my school obligations. We do not do foster care to make money, actually we lose money. However, to take on the cost of two little ones day care would be crazy.
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In spite of that fact I would not have these children moved. I feel that moves are detrimental. The impact would be on what other children I do accept after these have gone home.
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It would be easy enough to say that I shouldn't take this class this coming semester. The problem with that is that every class is not offered every semester. Sometimes they don't know when a class will be offered again. I have 15 classes I have to take and then a semester of student teaching. If I am lacking one class I can not student teach until it has become available and is completed. I have decided that listening to my academic advisor is a smart thing to do.
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My hope is to finish classes in two years and then do my semester of student teacher....making it 2 1/2 years to complete a 2 year program. I know my limits, three classes is the maximum I can take and it is considered full time. I had considered just taking two classes next semester and taking three years to finish but have decided to continue as a full time student. Crazy me.
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Budget cuts.....nasty things.

Back from El Paso

John and I flew to El Paso for the weekend to attend a wedding. It was held at a pretty little church.

I loved all the stained glass.

We had a great dinner at a restaurant that is in New Mexico and Texas. They had some great baby back ribs.

We spent some time driving around. You couldn't go south too far or you hit a fence.

This bridge connected Mexico and the United States. The line of people coming from Mexico was quite long, the entire length of the bridge.

There were fences and border patrol everywhere. This Mexican flag is huge.

We had a great trip. The wedding was beautiful and the reception and dance quite fun. We fizzled out at midnight (actually 2 am our time) and went to the hotel for some sleep.

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The next morning I received a call at 7 am from the respite providers of our foster children. They wanted to know when we were picking the kids up. Huh, we are in El Paso and not supposed to be back until 8 pm. She said that we had to get the kids because she was going to church from 11 am to 11 pm. She also stated that she took them to her church for an all night service on Friday. Uh, what! Why did she offer to take the kids if she had all these activities planned? The kids had a nice sleep schedule when we dropped them off.

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We told her to drop the kids off with Tasha. That was all we could do. I called Tasha and gave her a warning. I was glad that she had taken the kids to the fair the day before. I didn't want her to be responsible for 5 kids the entire weekend but I figured she could survive 11 hours, especially with Sarah there.

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We really don't like to do respite care because of all the issues involved. A big one is another move for the kids, even if it is for a few days. All that moving is not good for little ones.

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We had a great breakfast with friends and headed to the airport.

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I have to say that the El Paso area is just not to my liking. I don't like the terrain. I prefer trees and green spaces. To each his own. That is a great thing about America, there are lots of choices from Alaska, Hawaii, north and south. I think that of all the places I have lived that Colorado Springs was the most beautiful. Sure Hawaii was pretty, but they didn't have the season changes that Colorado had. Anyway, I digress....

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Anyone have a clue as to what these circles are?

I tried to get a picture of the horizon. My camera really couldn't pick it up, what looks like the edge of earth is not, obviously, there is a cloud in it. There was a thick layer of dust, sand, or something that permeated the atmosphere. Look at that landscape!

We got home a little late, 9 pm. The baby was in bed but Kiwi was up and quite active. She finally went down at 10:30 but I am not sure what time she fell asleep. She normally is in bed by 7:30 at the latest. Ughh.....

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Today the baby was very needy. John had to carry her around almost all day. I am sure that she didn't understand what was going on.

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I was hiding, trying to study for my midterm today.....that I didn't find time to study for over the weekend. I am not sure how I did on that test. It was a 6 page essay type of test. I was very brief and factual in my answers and was the first to get up and leave. I wondered if I completely was off base when I was walking out and saw that one girl was only halfway through the test. Oh well, I guess I will know in the next week or two.

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Tomorrow will be another busy day. The little ones have visitation and I have an appointment for Anthony. Now I need to catch up on all the blogs I read! Have a great night.