The Wild Ride

Fostering can be such a wild ride. After you do it awhile it can feel quite natural and other times it can be the toughest thing you have ever done. Sometimes you do the right thing and sometimes you find yourself doing the wrong thing. Sometimes it is complicated by DSS, especially when they don't disclose everything.

Last week we had a placement, this week she is gone. I hate to have kids moved but if DSS could be honest with me then maybe kids wouldn't get moved around so much. I know, they need to find a home for the kids so sometimes don't tell everything, maybe the kid won't have that particular behavior in the new home. We said yes to our last boy in spite of the fact that they told us he had an anger issue. However, they didn't tell me that he had heard voices telling him to get a knife in the last home. Uh, yes I probably would have said no. Yet, here he is, still in our home and fit right in. Actually, we don't even see the anger issue beyond normal 9 year old stuff.

So they called about a girl, told me why she was moving and I talked to my husband and we said yes. This was in the afternoon. Didn't say when they were moving her. I thought on it and felt that we weren't getting the whole story so I tried calling them to say no but they were closed. I left messages and texted folks. The next day at noon she shows up with a transportation person. Shows up without a foster parent agreement form. I was told that her worker was out on family emergency and that her supervisor was out for a week. Still, I have to have the agreement to do anything with the child.

I knew right away that it was not a good choice. She comes up to me calling me mom and hugging on me. She is 10, this is not a good thing. Within two days she is teamed up with Emma. This is not a good thing. This made Emma feel that she could defy every rule in the house.

Then she goes to school and gets a gang of girls to bully on our foster son, the one who is doing so well, we are his 5th placement. They were all calling him retard and on her final day here they started the anti-retard club. Within 3 days she acquired a pack of followers! We also found out she had lice her last day here and shared with Emma. I hadn't thought to check since she was coming from another foster home.

The same transportation lady came to pick her up. I don't like to have kids moved but the chaos she brought to our lives and the bullying were too much for our family. I never got to talk with the social worker, never got to talk with the supervisor. However, I was given the impression that this was her first move in foster care and the reasons they gave me sounded doable. Ha, the transportation worker said a few things that made me realize that she had been moved often.

All the kids were excited when she left, well, except for Emma. Makes me leery to accept any other kids.