Our Day

Well, got the foster child off to his permanent placement and was asked if we could take two 10 year old boys this weekend. Honestly, we need a break!

Took my foster teen in for an eye exam today. She wears glasses and needed a new pair. I am used to using insurance for glasses with the choice of hundreds of different frames. They showed her the Medicaid choices. There were maybe 24 different pairs. She showed me all the ones she has had in the past. We picked a pair but it bothered me the lack of choices. I have some kids I. Glasses who have never had a limited choice and don’t realize the opportunity they have to pick their glasses because we pay for them. I am tempted to actually use Medicaid next time the glasses get broke or lost.

Teen also had visitation today and her mom talked with the social worker about signing away her rights on all her kids, not just teen. That is a change and I know that another sibling wants adopted by her foster family as well. I need to push to make sure dss does what they need to do to ensure we don’t run out of time.

Larissa started her new medication today and she just came down crying. She says that she feels like her heart is about to explode, it is beating so fast. She is also having shooting pains in her head. Ugh. Calling neurologist tomorrow.

Larissa’s doll came in today! Will share that tomorrow. I am laying in bed with Benjamin and about to fall asleep!

Goodnight, Hope everyone had a great day today!

Neurologist

Today we travelled to Charlotte to see the neurologist. We have had a lot of problems with Briviact. Started normally with being tired but escalated quickly. Anxiety increased, she could feel her heart beating. The intensity of her seizures increased. She started feeling them when trying to wake up. Then she started having headaches every time she woke up. The side effects were effecting her schooling, she just couldn’t function. I talked with the nurse a couple of times telling her I was weaning her down. She said not to until they could start a new medication. It made no sense to me to continue it since it actually made her seizures worse  never had this problem before.

One day Larissa got out of bed and collapsed. Went back to bed and had a terrible seizure. I decided that I was going to wean her down. It is crazy to continue a medication that is obviously not working but is making life harder. A crying child every morning is not good. Headaches until after noon made normal life Impossible.

So when we went to the neurologist today I thought she wouldn’t be happy but she understood. We are trying a new medication. We are tired of these medications that are worse then the seizures.

Then I asked for more information on her seizures. She said frontal lobe nocturnal seizures. Nothing new to me but then she mentioned that maybe she should have genetic testing as this type of epilepsy could be genetic. That is new information to me. Anyone have these types of seizures? Anyone Struggle to find a medication that works? Larissa seems to have so many negative effects and still has the seizures. So frustrating.

Survival

Well, it was a very long weekend with the weekend placements. I truly hope that the siblings are split up, one child needs to be in a therapeutic home. After the 30 minutes of crying, screaming and tantruming at Chic Fil A we didn’t take the kids out for the rest of the weekend. Had to ban them from Benjamin’s room after trashing it and breaking his toys. Had to ban outside after kid was hitting the dogs with a baseball bat and beating his brother. Had a kid threaten to pee himself which didn’t get him anywhere. Had one cry every time he didn’t get his way, didn’t work.

They came with an interesting bag..... our association had recently given us totes for foster kids so they will leave with new underwear, socks and a few outfits.

The whole family was very annoyed and at times looked at them in amazement. There came a point where I started to feel sympathy for them. Their coping skills were so ineffective. Makes me wonder how things were in their house and how they cope at school. They really need some help and our home wouldn’t be the place for them. We have come to the point in our fostering journey where we are not able to take on kids with high needs. It would simply be harmful for our kids.

Tomorrow morning the boys will leave and I hope that DSS will be able to find a good placement for them.

Painting Party

Today I had a painting party at my church. Three of my daughters came along to help. I have to say it was a lot of fun. Sometimes I miss my old shop but I know I don’t have time to run a business at this time. I have another painting party on the 17th at Jason’s bar. I am putting the money I make at these parties into my mission fund account.

Weekend Placement

I have a sneaky licensing worker, when she is on call and is struggling to place a kid she will call me talking all sweet. I understand, late Friday afternoon and they want to go home for the weekend. We have two boys until 7 am on Monday morning when they will pick them up and try again for placements. Strange is that they came from a foster home and they have nothing. They have me a gift card to go and get them socks and underwear.  I got them those items and toothbrushes. Asked friends if they had 7/8 boys clothing and dug through my stashes. I have come up with a couple of outfits for them.

We will have them for three nights but won’t receive any clothing allowance. This is why I stock up a little bit (ok, too much) clothing. My problem is it isn’t well organized.

Wish us luck this weekend! These boys are quite busy and are keeping us on our toes.

Options for Foster Teens

Foster care is a little more complex than the kids come into care and they either have reunification with their parents or termination of parents tal rights. There are many other options for kids, especially when they are teenagers.

When it becomes apparent that kids will not be going home before they age out alternate plans are made. It used to be called long term foster care, now called APPLA, another planned permanent living arrangement. Independent living is the goal but so hard for kids who age out to maintain without support. Teens can remain in care to keep support when they hit 18 but so many are tired of the system and sign themselves out. The outcome for kids who age out is not very good.

Before our teen came to our home she was living in the children’s home expecting to age out under APPLA with plans to go to college. In her own words she accepted that because she thought no one would want her. It took some adjustments but she is doing great in our home. She and Larissa share a room and have a great relationship. She wants to be a part of our family. We are hoping to adopt her but recognize that time is against us. Either way she knows that she can stay in our home as long as she need to.

Court

Today was court day for our foster teen. It was a permanency hearing. Our foster teens siblings are TPR while our teen was APPLA. This was set 9 months ago, in 9 months nothing has happened. However, our teen wanted changed to TPR so she went to court with me today. This is the same county where we never got seen in a timely manner if we were heard at all. Amazingly we went into the courtroom on time today! Teens case is now changed to TPR and dss was given permission to publish for the running dad. After court mom texted teen that she is willing to sign her rights away!

What does this all mean? After they publish for dad they can then work on terminating his rights. If mom does sign then this will mean that there is a possibility that teen will be adopted. It will be a tight race, she turns 17 next month.