Child Update 2

Our little man. Came into our home at 2 months old, he was born a normal birth weight yet hadn't gained a pound in his first two months of life. Sadly he had also stopped crying. Meth exposure both before and after birth. He hasn't had a visit since he was about 5 months old as his parents moved out of state.

He finally got his case moved to TPR and we wait for publishing and his TPR hearing. The courts are so overwhelmed, they can't tell us when that will be.

We had figured that Benjamin would always be our baby. We have had a lot of discussions about adopting our little man. A big concern has been his tendency towards hurting others. Benjamin has been his biggest target. Benjamin has may bite marks and bruises from thrown toys. We have been very frustrated trying to prevent Benjamin and others from getting hurt. He doesn't just bite or throw stuff when mad or frustrated, he seems to enjoy the reactions that they generate.

We have also grown concerned because of his lack of speech. We have had him tested and he is on target in all ways except for expressive language.  We are hoping that this delay is part of the reason for his aggression. He has qualified for services because the gap between his expressive and receptive language is so large.

When little man came to us he had no attachment, he didn't cry because he didn't expect an adult to answer him. We worked hard on attachment.  We achieved attachment. His strongest attachment is with me. His comfort zone is his home.

We aren't sure what the impacts of his drug exposure will be. We don't know why he isn't talking. He literally has a handful of words. His Babynet tester had a good laugh when I told her that he did use a two syllable word.....butter. Yes, he loves butter and will use that word. His main other words are bye, ba and mom. He will not copy us when talking, any suggestions to get him to mimic would be great!

Morning cuddles and cartoons on the couch are his favorite things.

Recently little man had a change in social workers. When the new one came on board I told her of the challenges that we were having. Her first response was to ask if we wanted him moved. We said no. Our biggest fear for him would be what happened with Emma and Michelle. Emma was about the age that little man is now when they came into care. Her behaviors got her moved and moved often. If little man were to go through that I don't think he would fair well at all. We also have the option of transitioning him to an adoptive placement or putting in to adopt him ourselves. 

That decision has been hard. Are we selfish to adopt? Are we cruel to move him from the home that he has attached to? Our lives are getting more complicated with the older kids so are we prepared to raise a toddler again? Are we too old? Our hearts say adopt, our brain has said not to. In the end we have decided to do the paperwork to adopt. We feel that it is in his best interest to maintain stability. We feel that it is in his best interest. 

So we are filling out the paperwork. Looking at renewing our license because this case won't be finished by time it needs to be renewed. We are terribly behind in hours. But.....this is our last child!

Update number one, youngest

I have been so busy with life so I figured that I would do updates on everyone starting with the youngest who is 5 months old today. We received him when he was 2 weeks old and it was and still is an odd case. We actually feel that he shouldn't be in care and this is our first placement where we feel guilty that we have him. He is the only minor child in the home who was not a drug baby. He is a joy, he sleeps through the night now which is great! He is on target in all ways.

His case is the strangest. So far they have had 6 court dates continued either by the courts or the social worker. Something is very off with this case. There is no police report, no drugs involved. Long term marriage with three kids. The parents have been to the house several times to visit him. They came on Christmas and brought him gifts. They have brought clothing, diapers, wipes, toys, blankets and come to doctor appointments.

Then there is his GAL. Never met her. Actually I received a text from someone saying that they were leaving the agency. I asked who they were, never received a response. Found out from other sources that it was his GAL. Almost 5 months and she never talked to me or came to see him. He really needs someone to advocate for him.

Then there are the court hearings. We are supposed to receive notice about them. I don't. The parents tell me when they are. Actually the last one I mentioned to the social worker and she told me that it was continued by her lawyer. I said something to the parents and they didn't even know that it was cancelled! It is all cray and so unprofessional. They have another court date in February and the parents have asked me to come. We pray for that family.

Instagram

Any Instagram specialists out there? Larissa has been told to increase her Instagram exposure. She didn’t even have one so we set it up. She wants to do this modeling thing which means she has to actually get her name out there. My Instagram is a lost family and my projects. Her Instagram is her life and photos she is creating. If you’d like to see her photos follow her at melvillelarissa.

There are some days that I panic about all this, getting her name out there. But she is loving it. I am monitoring all her social media and she is fine with that now but I wonder about the future. She may not go anywhere with this stuff but a few runways but who knows. We are supposed to go to Dallas in June and California in July. We were asked to meet with someone in New York over spring break but since there is an agent interested in California we have been told not to sign with an agent in New York. There are also opportunities on a smaller scale in Atlanta and lately I have been thinking about that, it is so much closer. After all, I still have a family to care for at home! Do I hold back? Go all out? I just don’t know. Sarah is home and says she will help, actually wants to help.

I just don’t know!

Either way, follow Larissa if you’d like to support her and see her pictures!

Christmas 2018 Continued

Last Christmas a friend gave me some rocks and she asked for a painted nativity on rocks in return, she knew my schedule so she asked for them for this Christmas. You would think a year would give me plenty of time. Ha, a true procrastinator that I am I started two days before I was going to give it to her! I couldn't find a shepherd rock so I still owe her another rock.

Some of the kids made up their annual Christmas stocking song.

We also baked and decorated cookies..

Pictures were taken

Cookies were placed with care by the fireplace

and Santa came. This year he didn't bring candy for the stockings. I made homemade fudge instead. I think that next year I will make more homemade goodies to put in the stockings. There are a lot of stockings to fill! I think I missed some socks.

Christmas Day was great but a little off schedule. Our youngest foster baby's parents contacted me and asked if they could come and see him. We said yes and they came and had a great time visiting. However, it threw off my schedule. I cooked the fastest Christmas meal ever! All the kids and grandkids made it home and I didn't take any pictures. I actually have a lot of pictures of our foster baby and his parents so I could send to his parents for his first Christmas. After they left I spent my time cooking, eating and visiting with all our kids. So much chaos but such a blessing.

How did your day go? Any new traditions?

Christmas 2018

I know I haven't posted much but I have been pouring my time into the family. We have been busy....

Had our annual ornament party. Funny, I didn't take pictures of all the ornaments made. Everyone brings food and I supply the stuff for ornaments. We had a great time spending time together...

I think one of the favorite things was the little beaded angels.

 Then we went t go see our usual Santa...  Benjamin had a lot to say

This little one wasn't so sure and wouldn't take the bribery...er, can cane.

Miguel had no problem sitting on his lap.

Anthony won't sit on his lap but will take a group picture to make me happy and get some Schlotzkys and Baskin Robbin ice cream.

Then Larissa made her little Noel video. She hadn't been singing for quite a while then decided to start taking lessons again two weeks prior to making the video. She heard Noel at the Singing Christmas Tree show and her teacher asked her to record it.

Then I had a painting party at a friends house... they painted snowmen.

and now it is very late so I will continue tomorrow!

Noel

https://www.facebook.com/101747845913/posts/10156093567030914/

Not sure if the link will work or not! Larissa singing Noel. If it doesn’t I will have to figure out how to get it on you tube to share. Post tomorrow! Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Photo Shoot

Benjamin is taking acting classes at his request following in Larissa’s footsteps. They both love it . They had a photo shoot this last weekend. Larissa has a longer photo shoot with multiple outfit changes and Benjamin had his first one with only one outfit. He did great waiting for hours for Larissa to get her turn. They took his pictures right after hers.

Their modeling agency has asked us to keep up our Instagram, folks I am bad with that. I am old, I do Facebook. But I am going to try and post pictures there. For the interested, I am felmel1. Look me up. Remind me to keep it up. I have all this spare time.

Including a few pictures I took. I tried to stay out of the way. The photographer was Krisztian Lonyai.  This is all new to me, but I did look him up and he has some nice pictures. The kids really enjoyed him and Benjamin went up and asked him to watch him walk the runway! He loved walking the runway.

Larissa has an agent that wants her to go to New York on spring break and another agent wants to see her in LA. Right now we are thinking about doing a show in Dallas in June. Both kids auditioned for and are walking in Concord Fashion Week in March. Having fun with it right now.