Living the Good Life

In case you are curious, Larissa popped out of the bed morning after her finger injury with excitement because she wanted to show her teacher her finger. She wants it to turn black because that would be interesting (I don't think it will.).

I did go out and buy new socks.  You would think that I had bought something really exciting, the girls love them new socks!  They want to change socks after school, more laundry.  On a good note, my husband told me he will go to the laundromat tomorrow for me.  Ah, the luxury.  All my laundry done at once.  Of course, my biggest problem is actually getting it put away.

 

Soccer and little ones......entertaining.  It must take a lot of patience to  coach this age group.  If the kids aren't running the wrong way then they are being oblivious to what is going on around them.

 

They were in the middle of a practice game in the picture below...Larissa is facing away from the ball talking with the coach's son.

 

The baby is so spoiled.  He can't stand to be alone...at all.  His dad was a chihuahua and he got his little whine from him.

 

 

He is fearless and takes toys from Roxie.  Stuffed toys were OK but you should have seen the fight when the pigs ears came out!

 

Roxie has been limping and today I noticed a bump on her hind end.  She has a vet appointment tomorrow.  I have convinced my husband to take her because I already had other plans but didn't feel that the vet should wait all weekend.

 

Sarah decided that she wanted to go purple, so she did.

 

This is my front door mat.  I have plans for it so I will be visiting Hobby Lobby in Columbia tomorrow.  First I have to deliver Emma's birthday cupcakes to school.  She will be 6 on Saturday.  I still haven't made her jingly earrings. 

 

At our school you cannot take home baked goods.  Everything must be store bought.  I miss taking home baked goods!

Bathroom project is underway.  It used to have wood floors but after 20 years they had to be replaced.  The tile that was put in there was popping up and the floor was moving.  So, the choice was either to go under the house and work on the support or tear the tile and backboard out and put in a sheet of vinyl.

 



 

We decided to tear out and put in sheet vinyl.  John did the tear out.

 

I measured for the holes and John cut out the plywood underlayment.

 

Yesterday morning John did the tear out.  In the afternoon we bought the plywood.  At 2 am I cut the vinyl and put it in.  This morning we put in the toilet.  The sink had to be repainted and will go in tomorrow.  I am still doing some of the trim and repainting the bead board and trim.  The walls need to be painted.  Any color suggestions?

 

(The vinyl cost $24, it was a scrap piece.)

 

How much better can life get?  Seriously, watching your children and dogs play, deciding to tackle a small remodel and having the ability to do so.  Sometimes we get so busy we don't realize how good life really is.  We don't even think about it when we load up the car to go to our appointments.  So many struggle with transportation issues.  We expect that when we open the fridge there will be something there.  According to my kids there is nothing to eat, but there is.

 

Yes, we are living the good life, sometimes I just have to slow down and realize it.

Insanity

Things seem to be a little insane around here these days.  I don't know if I am coming or going.

My day.....

Starts with getting the kids up, dressed, medicated and out the door with most of their stuff.  Snacks, they are killing me. Four kids are supposed to bring snacks to school every day.  Crazy, I don't recall doing that for the other kids.  If I forget, my kids will starve to death and I will be the bad mom. 

Right now we have the added challenge of finding matched socks.  I have been neglecting laundry the last few days and now I am terrified of going up to the laundry room.  I think a visit to the laundromat is in order.  If no laundry is getting done then neither is matching clothing and socks.  I am not sure what the girls will be wearing for school in the morning.  I think that I may try and get to the store tomorrow and buy socks!

Then today I coordinated someone to come and help with my mom on Thursday and then I got my mom changed and fed.  She still doesn't have medicaid.  Our office called and said that they have to have something in writing that states that she no longer has medicaid in Texas.  The medicaid office here can't just call the medicaid office in Texas.  No, I need to figure out who to talk to and get the proper document.  Every day I tell myself that I will do it tomorrow.

Then I actually looked at my kids meds to see who needed refills.  All those ADHD meds and such have to be refilled every month so I have to call and ask for a refill every month.  Then they will either refill it and I have to go pick it up or they will tell me that it is time for the kids to come in.  Two kids are due so I called.  I haven't heard back from the office yet.  I expect that they will call tomorrow and I will go pick them up and take them to KMart.  Ew, I can get socks there!

Then I took Sarah into town to shop for a birthday present for Emma.  She turns 6 this weekend.  Larissa turns 7 on the 17th.  Emma stated to me that she wants pink jingly earrings for her birthday.  Not pink dangly, pink jingly.  They have to make noise.  Sarah and I shopped at all the places we thought may have pink jingly earrings and found none.  We did pick up some cute earrings, not jingly earrings.  We then went to Michaels so I could make some pink jingly earrings.  (Not sure when, before this weekend).  We also stopped at Home Depot where I found a front porch mat that would work with my plans then we had a nice lunch together.

We came back home where I did something....don't remember what.  Not laundry. Took care of my mom,  Painted some of the kitchen cabinets and read some of my favorite blogs.  I love to read blogs about others who are doing exciting things...like laundry.

The kids got out of school and I got to look at their folders and get them going on homework.  One child seems to be stubborn and can't seem to get a clean week of green, even a short week.  Sigh

At 4 I realized that I meant to send a package to Tasha in Afghanistan and the Post Office closes at 4:30.  I headed out to he Post Office and while there my husband calls me and asks me what I forget.  I had no idea.  My Outlook is not cooperating.  It does not like to forewarn me of things, it only likes to tell me I missed things.  It is not being very nice.  Well, I forgot that the adoption worker was coming.  Ack, front porch in the middle of a project, bathroom in the middle of a tear out, kitchen torn apart and the couch smelled like pee (I was told that this afternoon).

Small town, I was home in a few minutes.  We discussed every thing we needed to discuss while I was directing Larissa to get dressed for dance.  Finally worker leaves at 5:05 and Larissa and I shot out to dance and got there 15 minutes after dance started.  Since I was late I just sat and waited.  At home John got Anthony ready for soccer and took him to practice. 

After dance I ran home and picked up Emma and Sarah.  We had a foster care meeting to go to.  Michelle got to stay home and enjoy a sandwich since she wasn't green today.  The teen watched her.  Sarah babysits for the foster children at these meetings.  We stopped at McDonald's for a non-nutritional dinner before going to the meeting.  Then I felt the need to add a chocolate shake on the way out the door.  Oh well, chocolate is a great stress reducer.

At the end of the meeting Larissa got her finger caught in a door.  Tears and comforting followed.  John took the little girls and Anthony home while Sarah and I stopped at Walmart.  I wanted some fabric paint for my mat .  They only had puffy paint so I need to take a trip to Hobby Lobby some day. 

After getting home I got to check on Larissa who was still up due to her traumatic injury.  I don't know if she will be able to get to school in the morning.  Typically she is in bed by 7:30 at the latest. She struggles in the morning because of her seizures.  So I have no idea how she will be tomorrow with less sleep and her seizures.  I will probably be weak and let her sleep in....unless she pops up.

I did some research and talked with my husband about what I want to do with my welcome mat and then painted some on my kitchen.  Painted one coat and then got to work on my college classes.  A lot of work is due the end of this week in both classes I am taking.  Lets just say that I procrastinate so I am WAY behind.  A little more blog reading and facebook.  I break to watch my taped Dance Moms at about midnight.  Then paint and study.

I was about to head to bed and then decided to post a blog.  Yes, after 2am, insane.  Naturally, this isn't everything.  I do bathe and take the puppy out at intervals.....frequent intervals because his bladder is the size of a peanut right now.  I did find the girls spelling contracts that they brought home on Friday which was a big accomplishment.

So, that was my day.  How was yours?

One Issue Solved

Well, the mystery has been solved.  A visit to the doctor showed us that there was no medical reason for Larissa's school accidents.  After much discussion Larissa admitted that she doesn't ask to go to the bathroom because she doesn't want to have a strike.  Apparently in her class minor infractions give you a strike.  Three strikes mean that you pull your card.  Larissa has never had to pull her card at school.  She may be a tad spoiled at home but in school she is very well behaved.  Actually, I think that it is a result of her anxiety.  She is terrified of pulling her card.

Her doctor wrote a note for her that stated that she was allowed to go to the bathroom any time she said she needed to go.  I spoke with her teacher and she talked to Larissa to let her know that she wouldn't get a strike if she asked to go to the bathroom.  She said that she had told a story about a boy who asked to go to the bathroom all the time and got into trouble in the bathroom.  Apparently Larissa took the story to heart and assumed that she would have a strike if she asked to go.

I also think that she needs an increase in her anxiety meds.  She hasn't had one since this time last year. I can see the increase in anxiety in some of her issues.  I had hoped that we would be able to wean her off of anxiety meds one day but lately I have come to realize that they are just as necessary as her seizure medication.

No school accidents on Friday so hopefully our problem is solved.  On to the next........

Not enough hours in the day!

On the light side...

I have my door painted but can't get to the mural.  I have started the sky but haven't been able to get out there to work on it.  Looking at the ceiling at my entry way gives me ideas.....

Our poor puppy...........need I say more?

Emma lost her first tooth!  Thanks to facebook friends the tooth fairy remembered her duties.

I had forgotten that my mom used to have a little dog that she totally spoiled.

Four elementary kids means 4 sets of paperwork every day and four kids wanting help with homework. 

Halloween shirts are out.  I decided it was safest to buy three of the same shirt.....yep.

Rocko gets plum tuckered out by all the attention he is getting.  Slowly he is getting along better with Roxie although Roxie tends to be a little rough.

Not so light side.....

After the first teacher call on the third day of school, Michelle still struggles to do what she needs in school.  I have talked to the school counselor and her teacher.  We are doing all that we can to encourage good behavior at school.  In our home if you have behavior problems at school then that means that you are too tired.  The afternoon is spent doing quiet activities....reading and then an early bedtime for extra sleep. 

I had signed Michelle up for dance and had bought her shoes.  However, after the first week we determined that she just isn't ready to do that activity.  We do have all 4 of the little ones in soccer and she will play that.  She is actually good at soccer because she is aggressive on the field in getting the ball.

She has so much anger and jealousy in her and she is struggling to overcome them.  She can tell you about the day they came into care and every foster home, children's home and adoptive home they have been in.  She remembers everything. 

Emma is doing great in school!  She is on target academically and gets along great with her peers.  I can't even remember the last time she had one of her explosive tantrums.  She is still working on attachment but is so much more here and now.  She doesn't remember too much of her past, mostly that it was chaotic and lots of moves.  When her social worker came to the house last month she ran and hid from her.

Anthony is doing well at school so far.  He is sitting next to his teacher and that seems to be helping.  Our children's church is working on respect in September so we have decided to allow him to attend.  Sarah is also back in his group now and doesn't allow him to get away with his behaviors.  I hope that this will be a good year for him.

Larissa, well, I am concerned about her.  She has had two episodes of peeing herself at school. She didn't do this at all last year.  The last time she did this was in preschool before she was put on her anxiety medication.

Tomorrow she will be going to the doctors to rule out anything medical.  If it is not a medical issue then I worry it is an issue with her selective mutism.  I asked her why she didn't tell her teacher and she said because her teacher was busy.  I think she is afraid to speak up.  Is it bad to think that it would be nice if it was a UTI?

We are also trying to get her to her neurologist because her nocturnal seizures have increased dramatically.  I wonder if she is starting to seize during the day.  I really need to watch for that.  I have been playing phone tag with her teacher but I will ask her to watch as well.  I know that last year she would sleep during lunch and recess.  Sometimes I wonder if she should be homeschooled but she loves the social part of school.

Sarah has started college at the local school. She doesn't have her drivers license so that means that either me or my husband are taking her there.  She does have her learners permit so hopefully sometimes soon she will determine that it is time to drive.

I have started class as well.  I am having a hard time with it right now.  Both of my classes are online and I am just not motivated to do them!  I know that sounds terrible.  I feel like I have so much to do and not the motivation to do any of it.  My husband asked if I was depressed.  I don't think it is depression, just stress.  I will eventually get myself motivated and pass those classes because failure is not an option for me.  I also have other things to do before I can student teach, Praxis exams and comps.

I am still trying to get my mom on medicaid.  The medicaid office called me and told me that I have to have something in writing from the medicaid office in Texas stating that she is no longer on their medicaid.  Why can't the offices just talk to each other?  In the meantime I have hired someone to come to the house a few days of the week to help with her care.  I just can't do it all!

On a positive final note.......

Joselin came for a visit on Monday and spent the night.  She and Sarah took a long walk together to the gas station for junk food.  They are getting along so much better now that Joselin has found peace.  She is such a happier person now that she has learned acceptance.  I wish that we had been able to reach this point when she was younger but like I told her, better now then never.  She talks to me now about things she never would have before.  I feel like I have finally gained a daughter.  It sure was a long battle to get to this point and lots of forgiveness and grace on every ones part. 

How was your weekend?

We were busy.....

Larissa continued to fine tune her hairdressing skills.

Emma always seems to be a willing participant.

 

 

I made a roast.  Kind of an oops roast.  Normally I sear my roast before setting it to simmer all day long.  I add extra flour and seasonings to the water to end up with a nice thick gravy at the end.  I got a lite start so I decided to cut it up a little so it would be tender when ready.

 

 

Well, I must have cut it up too small because it fell apart.  Oh, there were a few chunks of meat still left in there.

 

 

Actually, it was quite tasty.

 

 

On Saturday night our church had a program called the FX (family experience).  The lady I sat next to asked me if we wanted a pappy.  Then she showed me a picture.....need I say more.

 

 

We got a new baby.  Meet Rocko the mutt, because we pretty much do mutts.

I don't think that his feet hit the ground too much today as everyone carried him around.

The kids included him in all their play.  Can you find Rocko?

The girls started soccer.  Notice that Larissa has different socks on.  I got those at KMart.  All they carried was adult sizes and I couldn't find cool ones for the little footed girls.  I think that we need to work on posing with Emma, ha.  Anthony starts his practice on Thursday.

 

 

Tomorrow Sarah has classes, kids are back to school, I need to get serious about my school, I am picking Joselin up to spend the night and Larissa starts dance.

Now I need to go do laundry because I am not sure what the situation looks like up there.

Have a great evening and tell me, what did you do this weekend?

One Year Ago

One year ago today we received a call from DSS asking us if we would accept placement of a 16 year old foster child.  We were not licensed for that age group but we said yes anyways.  It was way beyond our comfort zone.  They also told us that she was a runner and probably wouldn't stay more then a few days.

When you read her story think about what your thoughts are on children who are considered incorrigible.  Children who run, why do they run?

The following is her story, written by her.  I have only added some paragraph breaks and taken names out..........


My name is Kassi. I'm 17 years old and i have a story, just like everyone else.

I'm a foster kid.

 For 15 and half years I lived with my grandpa. He wasn't the greatest grandpa and he wasn't the greatest parent either. Every day when I went to school I had a secret, not just a little secret, a life changing one that corrupted my whole life all day everyday for the rest of my life, and no one even had a clue about it. I was being abused in every way you could think at home; verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Growing up and being in that house broke me. I used to cry my eyes out every single night, because I never had anyone to talk to about it. I was scared and alone.

When I was younger, about 7 or 8 years old, my older brother lived with me and my grandpa. He abused my brother and I was just too young to understand what was going on or I would have told someone. At 15 he got taken away and I remember it was the worst day of my life because he was always there for me when I needed him. After he left I was alone with my grandfather.

As time went by, slowly my grandpa started to be mean, then angry, and finally just completely crazy. I didn't understand at all what was wrong with him or what I did wrong. I never meant to do anything wrong but it seemed like everything I did was wrong to him.

I think the worst abuse I was forced to deal with was the physical. Every day I would go to school with a new secret, not just a little secret that I could tell my best friend, a life changing one. Thinking, I always thought if it ever got out my life would come falling down faster then it already has been. I would go to school crying or with big bruises; go to the store upset and faking a smile. Everywhere I went "How did you get that, are you okay"? I'd always have to make up some dumb lie. It hurt me bad to go places and having to lie, especially to my friends. I always tried to fake my smiles and attitude. I thought if I told them they wouldn't believe me or just laugh because they know how I am around them; Happy and always with a smile on my face, they never knew it was fake.

Summer 2011, I was 15 years old about to turn 16 in June and going into my junior year at high school. Everything just seemed to be getting worse at my grandpa’s house. The words were worse and the hits started getting more and more extreme. I don’t think I was ever in so much pain in my life. To deal with my pain I started hurting myself because it’s not like there was anyone there for me and my grandpa sure didn’t care about my feelings and the tears falling from my eyes. One day he was screaming and my neighbors heard him, I was so embarrassed. Getting in the car when he was mad was even more traumatic because sitting there beside him I can’t really get away from him when he hits me. All I could do is sit there and deal with it.

I never seemed to have a good day with him, and if we did it never lasted long. He’d always find something to scream at me for and an excuse to hit me. As soon as summer ’11 started I was super afraid of being home all day with him because I couldn’t talk to anyone or go anywhere with my friends. I finally just had enough with everything and I started telling the people the truth. I started opening up to my neighbors and telling them what’s been going on. Then I started running away every time something happened. I would always go to my friend’s house. When I first ran away my grandpa came and found me he was with my other neighbor that was his “best friend” he completely turned her against me and made himself seem like the good guy in this. Let’s just say after I got home I got a big scar for it.

I ran away about 20 times that whole summer and I started telling my friends family more and more about what goes on in my house. They called DSS or “Department of Social Services” and they came out and talked to me. They didn’t believe me and all my grandpa would say to me is “Don’t try it, you don’t have any proof.” I just didn’t know what to do anymore. My life just felt screwed up and I felt like why should I be here if I’m just going to continue to get hurt?

I called the cops four times and every time I was told I was an “incorrigible child”. Meaning I was the problem child. I really was just in shock; there I was crying my eyes out in front of officers that were supposed to help people in need or people that are in bad situations. My grandpa was an ex officer in the next county over. So it seemed like every officer that came out the house was my grandpa’s “cop buddy friend”. I’ll never forget what his one cop friend came up to me and said after my grandpa got done talking to him. "The way you talk, you make is sound like he beats you every day.” I just shook my head in tears. It was just unbelievable, all because I had no proof on my body. No word I said no one believed but my friend and her family. Some world huh? My grandpa always seemed to know his way with his words and how to act like he was the sweet, old grandpa he tried to pretend to be. It was sickening.

One day I got a video of him screaming at me and showing his true colors. He didn’t know I was filming. He admitted on tape “yeah I beat you, it’s because you deserve it” and so on. I finally was tired of it so when school started back up I was telling my friends what happened. 2nd or 3rd day at school I brought the video in with my friend and we took it to my school’s resource officer. We watched the video together. He looked shocked and sick to his stomach. Later on that day I was called to the front office and I went and was sat down with an investigator and he was asking all these questions and wanted to see the video.

We watched the video again and this time my principal who has heard how my grandpa was over the phone was in the room with us watching it. I looked at them, their faces all so familiar the “shocked” look. I was in the office for hours talking and crying and they finally told me that they are taking me into “Emergency Child Protection”, meaning, “the prevention of and response to abuse, neglect, exploitation of and violence against children in emergencies’’. I was taken to the DSS office and I stayed there until the found me a foster home to live at.

My social worker finally came and told me that I’m going to be living with a foster family named the “M’s”. I was confused and really didn’t know how to respond. I guess I was excited, I really didn’t know. I just knew I was relieved. Why didn’t I ever speak up sooner to anyone? August 24th, 2011 will be a date I won’t ever forget.

My social worker went to my grandpa’s house and got all my stuff, they didn’t get everything so I was kind of upset. Afterwards they got me and dropped me off at the gymnastics place where their younger daughter was playing. That’s when I met my future mom Felicia and her two daughters Sarah and Larissa. They signed the papers that said they are my foster parents and off I went to live with them.

I felt awkward at first because they were strangers to me. What do I do.? What do I say.? Everything was happening so fast. My life was changed for the better and all I knew I was finally smiling a real smile. My foster mom and dad seemed pretty cool and they quickly accepted me into their family as their daughter really quick. They had 7 kids and I was like whoa that’s a lot of kids but I realized 2 of them are adopted (Anthony and Larissa). I realized I was with a good family finally.

As months went by things start to get better and better, but some relationships with friends and other’s weren’t going so well. I was dating a guy I knew for almost a year soon right after I got moved to my foster family. But things started getting stressful with school and my past things popping up. I just couldn’t handle the stress so we broke up.

October came around and we got two new little girls in the house to be permanently adopted. We were their new family. I thought it was cool, but they were brats when they got here and were so angry, the total opposite of me when I got here. At five and six years old I don’t think I ever met a child so aggressive and mad in my life.

It’s 2012 now and I told my foster mom and dad that I do want to be adopted, because this was the first family I’ve ever really had where there’s a mom and dad around. Being here for almost a year, I’ve seen so many changes in my life, amazing ones, I got a great family and great siblings. I have met some great people along the way. If it wasn’t for that video I don’t think I’d be here in this amazing family.

God is completely amazing, he changed my life when I thought I was done for and worthless. I don’t ever want to leave this family, they saved my life. I can tell them anything when I need to talk. Being seventeen now and looking back at everything in my past it just makes me wish I would have spoken up sooner. Hiding it didn’t help at all, it just makes everything worse. I know I’ll always remember my past and all the bad things but I’ll never forget the people in that made me the person I am today. I’ve grown stronger talking about it and more acceptable with myself and who I am. Without God, my friends and family I wouldn’t be who I am right now. Hopefully soon my adoption paperwork will speed up so I can officially call myself a M.

Purple

Yes, my front door is now purple.

 

I am still woking on it.  I am in search of a door knocker.  I feel in love with one that I saw online but it is only sold in Australia.  Figures.  I am also looking for a welcome mat that is appropriate for our family.  I think I am going to design one for myself.

 

My husband has given me approval to paint a mural on the ceiling of the entryway!  When you look up you will see the sky with some branches and the bluebird of happiness flying around.  Right now I am trying to decide on a blue.  Do you have any idea how many sky blue colors there are out there?!

Any other suggestions?