It was a No Good, Rotten, yet Fantastic Day!

Thursday, it was one of those days where everything is supposed to be great but it turns upside down real quick. It was Tasha's graduation day from the respiratory therapist program. She worked hard to complete the program and her graduation was at 4 pm. We made it there but it was a stressful day.

Our short term foster placement, going to aunts in two weeks. Well, aunt decided she couldn't afford to do that. I can understand that, I respect that she recognized that before they were moved. We figured that we would just keep the brothers, that was our plan. However, it didn't work out that way.

The 6 year old has been a challenge. One of the first days he had a fit because his older brother was served food before him. He said that he wasn't allowed to eat until all the younger kids were fed, he is the oldest so that meant he was always the last to eat. Also, the very first day the youngest was in full force doing stuff and then blaming his brother. His brother cried and asked him why he always did that to him. Well, guess what, in our house there are many eyes and lying and manipulation eventually get caught. 6 year old did not appreciate that. He cried, cried when we didn't believe his lies, cried when we even asked him about something he did, cried when Benjamin came to me complaining that he hurt him, cried and cried and it didn't work. Then they had a visit last week. I was told he cried and got all the attention from his mom. She ignored the older brother. Actually she had told DSS that he had a big anger issue (strange, we haven't seen it yet).

During the visit the crying led to proclamation that he was a bad boy and wanted to kill himself. DSS said that they would have him evaluated. Then at home when he couldn't swim because he purposefully pushed Benjamin under the water to get what he had he made the same statement. Didn't work, still no swimming led to a mad boy. Talked to DSS that said that they were going to have him evaluated.

Thursday morning, he wanted to get another box of cereal and open it, was told no, to pick from the 4 sugar, I mean cereal boxes already opened. Then he was not allowed to sit in Benjamins seat, Benjamin was there! This led to his kill myself statement followed by him going to the kitchen and getting a knife. Uh, way beyond my basic foster home abilities. I called the social worker and she said to take him to the ER. I stated that I had to leave by 2 for a graduation.

At the ER they talked to him and he did state that he wanted to kill himself. Talked to me, I told them about the many times he hurt Benjamin and his anger. Told them that I didn't think he would hurt himself with the knife, but I did think he had the potential to hurt Benjamin. The therapist said that he needed to be in a therapeutic home. That they had no where to place a 6 year old. Normally they would call DSS and have a child placed in a therapeutic home. OK, DSS says they have no homes available and I needed to take him home. I stated what the therapist said and they then talked to her and texted me that she said he could go home. Talked to the therapist and she said that she did not say that.

Talked with licensing, placement, social worker who got frustrated and gave me her supervisors number (she didn't answer, no surprise). By this time I am totally frustrated. I told the nurse that I felt so....... and when I couldn't find the word she said trapped. Yes, exactly. DSS told me to take him to the ER and when they didn't like what they said they tell me to take him home. He was quickly escalating, why put my family at risk!? Why, because they have no homes. I no longer trust DSS to keep MY family safe!

It was getting late so I said let me take the kid home since DSS stated that they would not be picking him up. Well, the doctor then says that he will not release him to my home because of the kids. He calls DSS and tells them so. Finally they tell him that they will come and get him. He tells me that I have to wait there until DSS comes to get him. I told him that I refuse, to release him and DSS can get him from my babysitter along with all this clothing. He finally relents, I was serious, I wasn't staying.

So we got to leave and we made it home just in time for me to check his bags that they packed and get dressed to go to Tasha's graduation. While I was at graduation they did pick him up. We asked that his brother stay and there was time that they would have been mad and pulled them both but they have no homes for older boys.

By time I got to the graduation I felt like I had run a marathon. However, the graduation went well. We are so proud of Tasha for reaching her goal and completing the program. Less that half of the people who started in her program completed it.

So, although the day started off rotten, it ended up on a positive note making it a fantastic day overall.

I am still processing this. In spite of a therapist and doctor stating that he couldn't go back to my home, DSS still persisted in trying to get me to take him back home until they could find a placement which they said would take at least a week. Wonder if they would be willing to take the child home to their family. Just because we are a foster family doesn't mean that our children should be knowingly  put at risk.