Today I took my teen to an appointment. She is struggling in school and we are trying to figure out why since I believe that she has the ability to succeed. We got there at 9 am and left at 1pm, long day.
The appointment went well and we did get some ideas as to what is going on. At one point the doctor was talking about foster care and I mentioned that we were planning on adopting our teen. This doctor is very familiar with us since he tested Anthony and Larissa. He said that perhaps he should be testing me. Ha, I already know I am crazy so no need. Then he asked my teen what she thought about being adopted. She told him that it would be fantastic. He asked her three times and each time she told him yes, she wants us to adopt her. He then said that things need to be moved quickly because of her age. We know this. He will put that into his report.
At the end my teen and I were teasing each other and the doctor said that we looked like we belonged together. Funny what an impact those words can have.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Genetics
Sometimes genetics just suck. There, I said it. My kids come with some genetics that are challenging. They were so challenging to their parents that they weren't able to parent. It is not unusual for a mental illness to be self-medicated with illegal drugs. It is not unusual for those mental illnesses to be handed down. The way to break the cycle is to address the issue and help the child to learn how to deal with it.
For years we have been told that Anthony is bipolar. We were first told this when he was only 4 and again when he was 7. It was hard for us to believe. Hard to tell what the real issue is when you are dealing with severe neglect and attachment issues. First we started with the one ADHD med, it helped him to control himself. Then two meds and finally three meds. For awhile they helped him to control himself.
However, they no longer do that. I noticed that some of his work was coming home with some strange answers. We also found lots of unfinished work in his backpack. I called his teacher to see what was up. We found out that he isn't doing all his classwork in the class, is flat out telling them that he won't do the work. She said that he can be sweet one minute and very angry the next. His moods switch quickly. It would have been nice if his teacher would have called me to tell me his but for some reason she didn't. Actually she seemed shocked when I said that it was unacceptable and to send his unfinished work home and he will finish it.
I think that I have to accept that we are not just dealing with ADHD. I think that it is time to consider his genetics. We were told that his sister would have a more severe case of bipolar. Oh geez, what if he was right? Now I just need to find someone who can help. We haven't been able to find anyone when we searched before. Doctors are willing to consider ADHD at this age but bipolar is so much harder.
Today I made calls, I am working on that issue. Say a prayer for us as we head down this road.
For years we have been told that Anthony is bipolar. We were first told this when he was only 4 and again when he was 7. It was hard for us to believe. Hard to tell what the real issue is when you are dealing with severe neglect and attachment issues. First we started with the one ADHD med, it helped him to control himself. Then two meds and finally three meds. For awhile they helped him to control himself.
However, they no longer do that. I noticed that some of his work was coming home with some strange answers. We also found lots of unfinished work in his backpack. I called his teacher to see what was up. We found out that he isn't doing all his classwork in the class, is flat out telling them that he won't do the work. She said that he can be sweet one minute and very angry the next. His moods switch quickly. It would have been nice if his teacher would have called me to tell me his but for some reason she didn't. Actually she seemed shocked when I said that it was unacceptable and to send his unfinished work home and he will finish it.
I think that I have to accept that we are not just dealing with ADHD. I think that it is time to consider his genetics. We were told that his sister would have a more severe case of bipolar. Oh geez, what if he was right? Now I just need to find someone who can help. We haven't been able to find anyone when we searched before. Doctors are willing to consider ADHD at this age but bipolar is so much harder.
Today I made calls, I am working on that issue. Say a prayer for us as we head down this road.
A Calling
The president of our Foster Parent Association has opened a site which gives lots of information about foster care. She has some videos of biological parents as well as foster parents. If you are interested check out their site.,,,, Heartfelt Calling
Please, go and listen to Christine's story.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Loss of Control
Today I thought that I had an appointment to take the teen to an appointment at a location that is an hour away. I got everything lined up and off we went. We got there just in time to be told that the appointment is on Wednesday. Nice....well, not really! I didn't make this appointment, the social worker did. I still have the email, yep, today. I was polite when I left a message with the SW letting her know that it was on Wednesday. Apparently the place here the appointment is at wasn't so polite in their message to her. That is the life of a foster parent, we don't always make the appointments but we need to get the kid there.
You often have no control over these types of issues. Sometimes I have to stop and remember that these are not my children. We get to care for these children in most ways but they are not ours. Every scratch and bump has to be reported. With the two little ones I have been kind of slack on reporting. I think it is because I can never get in touch with their social worker. Dimples had a rug burn from day care on the bottom of her chin. At the last visit the parents asked what happened and Lily said that she burned it on the stove top! Yea, I got questions when I picked them up. Uh, no her chin doesn't even reach the stove top. Note to self: email about every scratch from now on!
I find it interesting that we are not allowed to cut foster children hair. We get to deal with it but have no control over it. For two years I corn-rowed Anthony's hair. In our family boys had short hair so it went against my families beliefs. Too bad, beyond your control.
Every month we have social workers visit our home, quarterly we have a licensing work come by, soon (hopefully) we will have adoption workers, we get to be fingerprinted, have annual SLED checks, health inspections of the home, and fire inspections. If you have a need to control and privacy then foster care is not for you!
We do not have control over many things but neither do the children. We at least know what we have signed up for and know that we have to accept it to continue to do what we do. The kids have even less control then we do.
So, I am off to study. I had planned on doing that today at the appointment because I knew that it was one of those types of appointments where you sit around a lot. Wednesday I get to take a road trip again!
You often have no control over these types of issues. Sometimes I have to stop and remember that these are not my children. We get to care for these children in most ways but they are not ours. Every scratch and bump has to be reported. With the two little ones I have been kind of slack on reporting. I think it is because I can never get in touch with their social worker. Dimples had a rug burn from day care on the bottom of her chin. At the last visit the parents asked what happened and Lily said that she burned it on the stove top! Yea, I got questions when I picked them up. Uh, no her chin doesn't even reach the stove top. Note to self: email about every scratch from now on!
I find it interesting that we are not allowed to cut foster children hair. We get to deal with it but have no control over it. For two years I corn-rowed Anthony's hair. In our family boys had short hair so it went against my families beliefs. Too bad, beyond your control.
Every month we have social workers visit our home, quarterly we have a licensing work come by, soon (hopefully) we will have adoption workers, we get to be fingerprinted, have annual SLED checks, health inspections of the home, and fire inspections. If you have a need to control and privacy then foster care is not for you!
We do not have control over many things but neither do the children. We at least know what we have signed up for and know that we have to accept it to continue to do what we do. The kids have even less control then we do.
So, I am off to study. I had planned on doing that today at the appointment because I knew that it was one of those types of appointments where you sit around a lot. Wednesday I get to take a road trip again!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Yep, we're related
Today Sarah and I were discussing recipe options for our left over ham. Sarah says she is going to make a dessert and asks my mom what she wants. Mom replies, "cake.........with lots of frosting!" Yep, we're related.
Sarah and I are shopping at Walmart. She wanted to buy something and I point out the price. She looks and says that she isn't paying that much for it! Yep, we're related.
I tell the teens that I am going to Goodwill to look around. They get excited and come along to shop at Goodwill. Yep, we're related.
Somehow the conversation turns to defense of our home and Jason starts talking about where the kids would be safest and where the rest of us who can handle a weapon should stake ourselves I think....yep, we're related.
Every time I tell Tasha that she needs to get something done that she has procrastinated on......I know exactly where she got it. Yep, we're related.
When John drops a piece of chocolate and declares 5 second rule.....yep, we're related.
What about you? Do your kids do something and you think....yep, we're related.
Sarah and I are shopping at Walmart. She wanted to buy something and I point out the price. She looks and says that she isn't paying that much for it! Yep, we're related.
I tell the teens that I am going to Goodwill to look around. They get excited and come along to shop at Goodwill. Yep, we're related.
Somehow the conversation turns to defense of our home and Jason starts talking about where the kids would be safest and where the rest of us who can handle a weapon should stake ourselves I think....yep, we're related.
Every time I tell Tasha that she needs to get something done that she has procrastinated on......I know exactly where she got it. Yep, we're related.
When John drops a piece of chocolate and declares 5 second rule.....yep, we're related.
What about you? Do your kids do something and you think....yep, we're related.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
If you are wondering......
As I was tucking the kids in Dimples speaks up........."I gotta go potty!"
Life of a Mom
Me: Geez, everyone is busy playing, watching TV, sleeping, etc. No one needs me so now would be a good time to work on one of my many unfinished projects....
A short time later.......after I am deep into paint, spackle, or any other project that needs done......
Child 1: MOMMM...
Child 2: MOMMMM....
Child 3: MOMMMMM....
Child 4: MOMMMMM....
Child 5: MOMMMMMM.....
Child 6: MOMMMMMMM....
Child 7: MOMMMMMMMM......
House Phone: RINGGG
Cell Phone (when I don't get to the house phone in time): RINGGGG
My MOM: Felicia.....
My Husband: Dear......
Any everyone wonders why none of my projects get done!
A short time later.......after I am deep into paint, spackle, or any other project that needs done......
Child 1: MOMMM...
Child 2: MOMMMM....
Child 3: MOMMMMM....
Child 4: MOMMMMM....
Child 5: MOMMMMMM.....
Child 6: MOMMMMMMM....
Child 7: MOMMMMMMMM......
House Phone: RINGGG
Cell Phone (when I don't get to the house phone in time): RINGGGG
My MOM: Felicia.....
My Husband: Dear......
Any everyone wonders why none of my projects get done!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)