Parenting 101

As a parent I have rules concerning yes, no and maybe. No means no, maybe can be turned to a yes with the right persuasion, and yes means yes (even if it is inconvenient for me).

Today Larissa had to test my no. We were at Walmart and we told the little ones that they could get a book. Naturally they put the books right in the middle of the toy section. Larissa lost interest in the books and wanted a specific doll. I told her no, that her birthday was in a month and she could ask for a doll for her birthday but she wasn't getting one today.

She proceeded to cry throughout the rest of our shopping trip. She desperately wanted that doll. She didn't get that doll. I was actually surprised that she acted that way, she hadn't done that when I told her no before. I guess that she was testing me, I hope that I passed!

(She did tell me later that she wanted a doll with a shirt and cupcake for her birthday. Of course, she must have 20 dolls at home already.)

I can parent little ones. I can stick with my no and honor my yeses. However, teenagers, they challenge me. Some are so easy and then others make up for it.

I am dealing with a child right now who is challenging me. I found out today that she is sneaking out in the middle of the night. She has done this twice this week. A boy has been picking her up. She doesn't know that I know......yet. I am still trying to determine how to deal with this one.

How do you deal with a child who doesn't want to be in your home? How do you keep them safe from their bad decisions?

Palmetto Falls

Oh, Anthony got new shoes too, naturally! My favorite type, no tying shoe laces.

We went to Fort Jackson today and played at Palmetto Falls. Us lower ranking folks get in for $2.50/person. Great, cheap fun.

How many brothers does it take to get Larissa out of the water?

Anthony with his head under the water trying to swim. This is exciting to me because last year he refused to go in the water without a floatation device on.

I think that the small slide was a little intimidating for Larissa. She got the hang of it pretty quickly.

Anyone who wears glasses understand her dilemma....to walk around blind or with spotted glasses.

A rare picture....Jason. He came to help me watch the weak swimmers since Joselin didn't want to go.

I think that next summer I will try to go more often. The kids really enjoyed themselves and it really didn't cost much. I just get too lazy.

Busy Day

We got a lot accomplished today. I started the morning at Sarah's school signing her transitional IEP. When you move to a new state with an IEP the new state must accept it for 30 days. They then have 30 days to determine if you meet their criteria for a new IEP. I will be back at her school in a month do attend a regular IEP meeting. I will also have to do one for Anthony and Larissa. Not sure about Joselin yet.

We discussed Joselin's situation today. We have an appointment to meet with vocational rehab on the 23rd to see if there is anything that they can offer her. Then we will meet with the school to determine what the best course of action is.

After I got home from that I decided that the sun room needed a thorough cleaning. This meant moving furniture and everything. I guess it was a good decision because when I moved the shoe box I got a surprise.

I guess that Pooky Bear lost one of her catches.....yuck!


We finished cleaning just in time to go to "meet the teacher" night. It just shouldn't be this painful for a child to meet a new teacher, but it is Larissa's reality.

It hurts me to see her struggle so much in these types of situations. I forget how bad it can be during the summer because she is so outgoing with the family. I could rescue her and homeschool her but I think that would cause more damage in the long run. At some point she is going to have to learn to function out there in the world. I can't protect her from it forever.

When she got to her classroom she never said a word but she did go and play in some of the centers. She told me later that her teacher and helpers are nice and she liked the centers. She will do fine once she gets accustomed to everything.

After we meet Anthony and Larissa's teachers (at different schools with the same time slotted) I decided to go shoe shopping for Sarah. She has to get her Vans before school starts on Monday. We had a successful trip, she found two pairs of shoes she likes.

During our cleaning job earlier I filled a bag with Larissa's shoes that were either too small or ready for retirement.


This allowed her to get her shoes that she wanted. Shiny, colorful and they light up. I know she can't be the only little girl out there with a pair of these fancy shoes.

Yes, I spoil her so.

Tomorrow is the last weekday before school starts. I have some fun planned if the weather cooperates.

Getting Close to Certification

We finally received our last piece of paperwork from Texas. Getting a SLED check from them took entirely too long. I am not sure why their process takes so long.

This means that next week we will be certified foster parents again. It is strange, you check every call coming in to see if it DSS looking for a home for a child. It would be nice if there wasn't a need for foster parents. But the reality is that there is. I don't think of myself as hoping for a call, but as hoping that a child is rescued from a bad situation.
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Our certification coincides with the beginning of the school year. This is a busy time for DSS. Teachers are mandated reporters so the beginning of the school year brings a surge of kids. Abused kids are invisible during the summer, they rely on family, doctors and neighbors to report.

The next few weeks will be hectic around here. Kids starting school, me starting school (big new one there), kids starting after school activities and the unknown of foster care.

Should be interesting.

What a nice day. I took a nap! Larissa did as well. Shortly after this Joselin fell asleep as well. We are all enjoying a quiet afternoon. The rest of the week is filled with appointments and activities so we enjoy our down time when we can. I took the kids to a martial arts place this evening. They were there to try it out.

I think it would be very beneficial for both of them if they learned their left from their right!

Anthony did real well listening to directions and trying to follow them. They were both very distracted by the other groups who were practicing. It was all new to them.

About half way through the practice Larissa had a break down. She just about broke into tears and came and huddled in my lap for about 5 minutes. I asked her if she wanted to try again and she did. She slowly creeped out to try again. I was happy to see her try.

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The instructor working with her and Anthony didn't say anything mean to her or even raise her voice. She just asked her questions that Larissa couldn't answer. It is so hard to see how selective mutism impacts her in these types of situations. I hope that Larissa can come often enough where she can reach a good comfort level.

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I mainly went to get Anthony involved. His personality makes team sports difficult for him. I also wanted him to have to follow directions from someone else. Defiance is a big problem with him. I will be interested to see how he is after he has a higher comfort level.

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In the end they both decided they wanted to come back. Larissa got her size 00 outfit but they have Anthony's size on order. He should be suited up next week.

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Doesn't she look so proud? (I know, the belt is tied wrong)

Gabby

I have been very concerned about our kitten Gabby. She had an infection on the right side and then I noticed that she was getting a bulge on the right side.

The right side is totally healed.
The left side got lanced today. We now have a different antibiotic to give her.

I don't understand why she keeps getting these infections. We have contained her in a part of the house where she doesn't have any contact with any other household pets. I am concerned that maybe she has some type of problem with her immune system.

Today they did an AIDS/leukemia test. I know that the vet was even concerned because of the continued infection problems. Thankfully, the test came back negative.

Hopefully, the new antibiotics will clear up her issues. Geez, I spend more money on vet bills then I do for the kids medical care.

Speaking of medical bills, if anyone is interested, the bill for Joselin's CT scan she had a few weeks ago came up to $4903. I am very thankful for health insurance!

Birthday Traditions

I decided to look it up, the birthday spanking tradition.

Birthday Traditions: "Some children receive birthday 'spankings', which are were originally based on superstition, but are now more of a birthday prank or a joke. Hundreds of years ago, spankings were given for each year of the birthday child's life. Beyond that number, a child received another spanking to grow on, one to live on, one to eat on, one to be happy on, and yet another spanking to get married on. At one time, it was considered back luck if the birthday celebrant was not spanked because it was believed to 'soften up the body for the tomb.' Historians are unsure if the practice of swatting the birthday girl or boy was treated as a joke, as people view it today"

I found a site that had many different birthday traditions for many countries. I wonder if they still do the birthday bump in Ireland. I could see me dropping a kid.

I grew up with the birthday spank and so did my kids.

Anthony often doesn't understand some of the things we do and I worried that when it came to the birthday spank he would not see it with the humor that we do. However, he ran around and shrieked with laughter when Sarah went to catch him for his "birthday whacks" as we call them. I was thrilled that he was going along with the fun.

Traditions are a great way to make a person feel connected with the family.