Marriage

Yesterday Benjamin and I headed to Fort Jackson to meet John for lunch. Benjamin started playing in John's shirt pocket so John took out his CAC card and put it on the lunch tray.  He can't do anything with out this card, not even get into his building. You can probably guess where this is headed. John heads to work and I finish shopping and start to head out to pick up Vaida. John contacts me frantic, he couldn't find his card anywhere and thinks that he threw it away with the contents of the tray. I got to go search through the trash to look for his CAC card. He didn't expect me to do that but I felt bad for him. I was lucky, I found it close to the top of the trash bag. I am curious, would you search through the trash for your husband? Would your husband do the same for you? I believe that mine would.

I don't talk about my husband much, I assume that people don't really want to hear about my husband or my marriage. I guess I never really thought about it. We have been married almost 25 years, doesn't seem that long. We have had some rough times and good times. Really, we are so different and were raised differently. He was raised on a farm and I was raised in an executive travelling family.

He left home at 17 to join the army. The army is still in him. He does not allow disrespect. I would call him more of an authoritarian. I am not. He is slow to forgive whereas I am too quick to forgive. He is more of a pessimist whereas I am more of an optomist.

He is rough, tough and sounds harsh. However, don't let that fool you. He has a huge heart, sometimes he doesn't know how to show it. I have many pictures of him holding sleeping foster babies. Now he holds his granddaughter.

He is from a time when you take care of each other, have an obligation to do so. He took care of his father for three years (even when that meant changing diapers) and allows me to take care of my mother as long as I can. He has two biological children yet he is father to 11. We have puts our dreams of an Alaska cruise on hold because of our choice to adopt. My husband will work longer than planned because of our choice to adopt Benjamin. That is OK, that was our choice. That is love.

He works hard to provide for his family and allows me to stay at home or work if I want to. For our family it has been easier to have me at home to meet the needs of all the kids. Recently I started my business and most of the business is on Saturdays.  He has had to adjust to me being gone on that day. At first it was a difficult adjustment but things have settled now.

Because we are so different we see things differently. Some days we get mad at each other. Somedays we struggle to see each others sides. However, in the end we come together. We support each other. We know that our family that was formed by us needs us to be a solid unit. Needs stability. Needs love. Needs a mother and a father.

The other day he ran out for milk, he brought me back some Cherry Garcia, yes, he loves me.