In my previous post I wondered if those comments were made because they were adopted. I wondered that because I find that some people feel that they can say things about adopted kids that they don’t say about my biological kids. Some folks also feel more open to take about foster kids.
We treat our adopted kid like, well, our kids because that is what they are. We also try to treat our foster kids as our kids as much as we can. We don’t give them cheaper gifts, don’t buy them cheaper clothing and try to take them on our vacations when possible.
For some reason this bothers people. I have had multiple folks tell me that we are hurting the kids by giving them our lifestyle because they will go home to a lower standard of living. However, now they will know the difference. This actually got me thinking. Do we harm kids by taking them from their economic status, sharing ours and then sending them back. What do you think?
I believe that there may be some of that feeling for the older kids. But we have also taught so much that is not material. We take them to church, share family time as we all sit together for dinner (something so foreign to all our foster kids), allow them to feel security, show them a different way a family can function, try to teach some values and different ways to deal with conflict, share our love of travel and the arts, show them alternatives for living. Some of it may stick and some of it may not. Long term we really don’t know the impact. Of course, we hope that there will be a positive impact for the children who come through our home.
Recently I received a phone call from a friend. She was in Columbia and saw one of our previous foster kids. She said, “Felicia, he has Anthony’s hair style!” Who knows what other impact was made.
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