Ugh

I am going to be honest here, apparently I am a terrible foster mom and not a good adoptive placement.

A few days after we got back from vacation adoptions came over. They had some concerns. One was that I hadn't taken foster kid for his incoming doctors appointment. Well, I hadn't done that because I was his 5th placement, from what I knew I didn't have to. I had an eye exam scheduled at that time. Then she complained about no therapist appointment. Well, he sees the therapist at school. No issues to think that he needed more. Then she said that my house was too cluttered and looks like house that they pull kids from! I was in shock and didn't even know what to say. Our toddler kid took all my energy and made normal activities difficult. But, he left the day before we left on vacation, then we went on vacation and came back on a Saturday with 9 days of laundry. Sunday we celebrated foster sons birthday and Monday I had started on the house. They came on Tuesday and licensing was scheduled on Wednesday. They said that they weren't even going to continue our adoption home study!

After they left I started to get mad. My house is cluttered with clothing of all sorts, toys, shoes, baby supplies, laundry, craft supplies and such. All things of a big, active family.  Yes, we have too much stuff. Yes, we have writing on the walls and the trim needs repainting. They haven't complained about it being dirty, just cluttered.

I called adoptions to say that it was rather insulting to say that our home was a home that they pull kids from. She told me that our home was fine for kids that need a foster home but not as an adoptive home. That she understood that I was having a hard time and that she could have the kids moved so that they could get to know their adoptive family! Uh, no, there aren't homes ready and waiting for a 9 year old with anger issues and his 16 year old sister. Then she said that we were on a clean up plan with licensing. Huh, first I heard of that.

I called the social worker. She was shocked. Made me cancel the therapist appointments I made because missing school was not an option and school therapy is fine. Told me that he didn't need a doctors appointment for when he moved to our home. Also told me that when our teen went to the foster care review board while we were on vacation that she told them that she would only leave the children home to come to our home, she wanted to come to our home and be adopted by us. The social worker said we are her best foster home (we have had 5 of her kids). She contacted them to put in a complaint and they denied saying any of that.

The next day licensing comes over. They had called her and she told them that he didn't have to have a physical. She also told them that she didn't see a problem with our house. She was confused when I said that they said I was on a clean up plan because I wasn't. She walked around the house. There were a bunch of craft supplies on the table from crafts which she saw as positive.

Our first reaction was to say we have had enough. However, we have two kids that expect more from us and we have committed to. So we are playing the game. If their concern is our stuff we will get rid of it. It is hard though, the other day I was running out in a rain storm to grab some stuff that Benjamin saw in the truck that he claimed he still played with. Clothing is an issue. One dryer died so we are down to one washer and dryer. We have a schedule and everyone has to wash their clothing on their day. I was sorting clothing because we have so many kids that we pass down to. However, I determined that I just don't have time to sort so I sat with a trash can and threw out a bunch of clothing. We threw out a bunch of socks. I haven't been able to toss any craft supplies!

I will admit, I am confused by the whole thing. I wonder if they have the right person because we haven't been on a clean up plan. I think last time they came out was during our termite fiasco. That was messy and costly but there was no way around the mess if you wanted the room to be safe. I have called numerous workers who are confused. The GAL thinks it is crazy. We have adopted 6 foster kids with no problems. Heck, five of those kids are at home making the messes. I have had to let it go and move forward. We were asked to take three different kids today and I said no as I am planning on repainting the interior of the house. I am trying to decide if I should do some new colors or stick with the old. For the kids I will play their game. However, I look forward to getting out of foster care so I don't have to worry about our clutter.