Noah is 4

Noah is now 4, those babies sure grow up fast. I think I just said that in another post but it is so true!

We went to Kassi’s house and brought him a bike. 

I remember the day he was born, little baldy. Kassi has really grown as a mom although she struggles like many single moms do. I probably don’t tell her often enough that I am proud of how hard she works to provide for her kids and what a great mom she is.

Happy Birthday Noah!

Progress

She told me that this is the veining stage, looks strange but I can see that in a newborn.

She added violet layers, yellow layers- 40 layers in all.

Larissa asked for a little nose scratch and birth marks. She wants character.

There is no body yet.

She will be adding hair this week.

Fieldtrip

On Friday we went on a field trip to the children’s museum. We picked up Vaida and Owen so Tasha could sleep and we kept them overnight. The kids had a lot of fun but Benjamin really wanted to stay longer. I think I will take him back on day without any babies.

Different activities on the fake ice!

Of course all that play meant we needed some San Jose.

I cherish the time I can spend with my babies, they grow up so fast!

Benjamin Commercial

The day after we got back from Charlotte Benjamin was scheduled to do a commercial for a local company. It was his first commercial and I have to say he did great. For more than two hours he ran to different cars, opened the door and got in and then out. Then he spent time running to the cars and interacting with his “dad”. 

He loved it. I don’t know if he will do more but it was a great experience. 

Larissa asked me if she will ever be selected. Just the other day her agency called me, they told me that there are several agents in New York who want her in New York when she is older. Right now Benjamin is at the cute stage. He will grow into his awkward stage. Larissa is currently in the awkward stage, 5’10” tall but a child. She is at the awkward stage but will grow into her strength. She  really shines on the runway. She is signed with two agents in Atlanta who are working on growing her so she is ready for New York. Her local agent wants her to go to California this summer but we have decided that we do not want to do that at this time.  Instead we will work on homeschooling, growing and we have a photo series we plan on doing ourselves.

Reborn Doll

I posted that Larissa’s gift for Christmas was a scam but I don’t think I wrote how I resolved it. I gave her a coupon for a doll. She gave me a list of what she wanted and I am commissioning a doll from a local doll creator that I found. It is fascinating watching the steps. I get daily pictures. Anyone curious?

Larissa requested a sleeping biracial newborn with baby curls, pacifier magnet, imperfect newborn skin and wants it packaged for unveiling.

I picked the baby....

I was told it takes 30-50 layers of painting.

For the curious I will post some updates.

Blogs

Back when I started this blog I was reading a lot of them. Slowly over the years my favorite bloggers stopped posting and disappeared. I started posting partially because I was reading so many blogs about how fantastic fostering and adoption were. Yes, it can be but there is a totally other side. The part that is hard. Where kids come with behaviors associated with trauma. Where as a foster parent you feel devalued by the system. Even within our society a few rotten foster parents make us all look like we do it for the money.

I wanted to give a little look at the other side. Not to scare people away but to make them aware that it can be hard. That child at your door step doesn’t want to be there. Their ways of survival may not be comparable with your home. Then again, maybe you can touch that one child who just needs a chance.

Everyone who foster or adopts has a different experience. Some more positive and some more negative. I feel that we have had a mix. Some children have healed and flourished. However, some of our children struggle to accept their family. However, at this time even the struggling kids are in school and growing even if in tiny increments.

We have had some foster kids come and go home or to family. We have had kids get TPR and we adopted. Recently we had our little one move to a placement that we hope can better offer him the extra help he needs. That one still breaks my heart, I love him so much. I recognize that I have my limits and worried about long term needs. He got younger parents and currently is an only child. He is where he needs to be to get what he needs. Still, it hurts.

I continue to blog because I feel that I have some readers who have been here since before Benjamin was born. I know some of you pray for success for my kids. I probably also have readers who are skeptical and assume I make stuff up. It is true, I don’t share everything but I feel I share enough for folks to understand our joys and struggles. Sometimes I disappear and struggle and miss big holes which is why I tell folks to let me know if I totally dropped the ball on a subject! I can’t imagine that I have too many new readers as blogging is declining. I can’t imagine anyone going back and reading our whole story of how we got here. I will continue to blog. I am not sure when I will stop. That is why I encourage folks to join my Instagram or send me a Facebook request. At some point I plan on writing a book. Not about our family but about our experiences and a fictional foster child. Kathy Cassel came and helped me with some planning. I hope to well out some time for that in the near future.

Having said all that, anyone reading a good blog? I miss some of my old ones and wonder how the families are doing.

Seizures Captured

They came in and removed her headgear. They captured three good seizures last night. Preliminary shows they come from both frontal lobes. They are going to change her doctor to one who specializes in her type of seizure. Blood work was good. They are still analyzing the data but we get to go home, whenever they finish their paperwork and take out her IV.

Kids Health

Sitting here in the hospital thinking people must think I only take Larissa to the doctor. Well, honestly  that feels true some days. She is my only kids with asthma, allergies and epilepsy. None of our minor children have any type of chronic health issues. Sarah has NF1 but I think that Larissa’s health struggles impair her more.

I recently took Anthony in for a sports physical and they hadn’t seen him in a long time. He got tall on them. He is thinking of doing soccer this year, we will see. He isn’t into competitive sports.

I think Benjamin has been the most after Larissa, he got the flu on his birthday last year with a high fever and later had an ear infection. He doesn’t get them often and only had the flu for two days.

Michelle has the worse eyes of all the kids. She says she has old lady eyes. I feel her pain, I was the same way as a kid only we didn’t have these thinner lenses back in my day.

Emma gets occasional headaches but nothing concerning and I did take her to the doctor for that. She did get glasses which she won’t wear. I bet it would help with her headaches she did. I can buy them and send her to school with them but I am not allowed to duct tape them to her head.

I don’t take kids to the doctor for viruses and such. As long as they stay hydrated and their fever is not too high I let them run their course. Why take a kid with a virus to the doctor and have them catch the flu.  Actually, we don’t get sick that often considering how many folks are in the house. I used to be paranoid when my mom was in the house that we would make her ill, that never happened.

Surprising none of the kids except for Larissa have broken any bones. Hers happened at school. That is surprising considering how much they play outside and the things they do. Climbing trees and such. I did catch them on the roof of the shed and made them get off. I finally had to stop the after dark hide and seek, our foster son is a bit clumsy and was tripping over stuff in the dark outside. Accident waiting to happen.

So, yes, Larissa is my only kid that I sit up at the hospital with. She is the only one with multiple health issues. It sucks.

EEG

If you are wondering why all the updates today, it is because I am sitting here with Larissa watching her sleep. If she has a seizure I have to push a button and tell them what she is doing. 

Our day was filled with lego building, Pom Pom making, coloring and such.

Our evening has been frustrating. After a day of checking vitals every 4 hours, the new nurse started coming in every hour to wake her to check for a fever. After the second time of waking her I went to the desk to let them know that they are not helping at all and to stay out. 

Then there is the heart monitor. It was going off when it went below 70 which was constant. Then they lowered it but her heart rate went lower so she way crying because she couldn’t sleep. We are at almost 1 am and she hasn’t really gotten to sleep yet so no seizures. However, her heart sure is doing weird things. I video taped it because I could see they were taking pictures. She didn’t appear to be having a seizure. Right now she has a heart rate of 54 and the rhythm is all over the place, I can see where they are taking pictures.

Well, she just has a brief seizure. Will be a long night. Say a prayer that we can get answers.

Legos, our new obsession

It started with duplos. 

Then we got a few legos.

 Then it exploded. 

Friends gave us some. Found a box for $10 at a thrift store. Found some on clearance.

Benjamin who hates fine motor skill exercises will gladly sit with me and follow directions to put tiny legos together. Don’t tell him he is working those fingers.

Y’all it exploded. We had to have a sorting party.

He is so proud.

They spend hours playing. Next step, we are designing a town. 

New Years Eve

New Years Eve is not a huge event around here. We put away the tree, the grandchildren already took care of the bottom part...

I took kids who hadn’t used their eye insurance in for exams and new glasses. Anthony Was the only one not needing any.

And then we stayed up and watched the ball fall. My husband did not make it. He rarely does.

Benjamin sent out kisses to being in the new year.

What did you do?

Christmas 2019

We had a good Christmas season. With Tasha’s work schedule we celebrated twice.

Sarah and I brought our gifts Christmas Eve and watched a little TV. I stuck to our three gifts and was happy that I found my balance between my love of giving and the realization that I give too much. 

Foster kids got a lot of gifts from their family on their last visit and three from us. We paired our gifts with what DSS gave them. They gave one an art kit she wanted so we added a lot of art supplies with it. She wanted clothing but what they got was not teenage clothing so I returned it and got her jeans she wanted and added some crocs and then we bought her AirPods . She asked what we gave and what DSS gave, she was happy. Later she told me she asked for AirPods but didn’t think we would actually buy them for her.

Miguel favorite toy was this plastic container. He didn’t actually get it for Christmas but found it on the floor. He and Owen fought over it quite a bit. Joselin didn’t come for Christmas and we will now have Miguel until the end of January.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas. Sorry for the late posts! Where has the time gone?

Christmas Rocks

Painted some Christmas rocks to put out. 

On a couple Benjamin painted the background and told me what he wanted me to add to it.

He favored blue and white.