A lot has happened in the last week. One week ago I went and sat at the DSS office. Over the weekend I was sent a message by one of my facebook friends asking if we had an opening for a foster child. She said someone was going to relinquish a child (non family member that she had through DSS family services) and she really wanted the child placed in my home. I told her to give them my name and if they called I would take her.
DSS did call me and asked me to be at DSS at 4:30, the child was to be brought in at that time. I was at the office but then had to wait for the police. The police weren't very keen on having the child come into care. The lady had to write that she could not take care of the child. Apparently they normally do this through court. The police took down my information and did sign whatever they needed to. This type of situation is foreign to me. Apparently her mother is in the hospital and this lady could no longer care for the child. I had Benjamin with me and he held her hand and walked her to the car telling her that she was going to spend the night at our house. He buckled her in and talked to her. She didn't cry a tear, an actual warning sign to me. The next day they did take the case to court, she is officially our foster child.
Immediately I recognized that she had a speech problem, I can't understand her at all. I talked with Babynet they next day and they fought with me about having them come out and doing an assessment. After talking with others I understand that this is a problem in our area, getting early intervention services. I wasn't willing to relent, they are coming out this week to evaluate her. She turns 3 in March so really they won't have much time before the school system kicks in.
The child also does not know who is mom. She calls everyone mom and goes to all women. She is pickier about men. She has not cried for her caregiver, mom or anyone else. That seems to be an ongoing problem these days, no attachments to anyone.
So we are full. We have a 6 month old from a county about an hour away, a 2 year old from our county and a 5 year old from a county 2 1/2 hours away. Three different social workers, three different GAL's (although I havent' met the 5 year olds one yet), three different court systems. It is a mess!
Monday, October 23, 2017
Friday, October 13, 2017
Our Shortest Placement
She wanted to go up to her room and I could understand her need to process her day. Little did I know why she went upstairs. A little bit later a cop showed up at my door. He wanted to talk with me and her. We went out on the porch. Privacy is hard around here, Benjamin and other kids kept checking in with me and heading back in. She told us that she didn't feel safe in the house and that she found a white powdery substance in the bathroom. I was shocked. The cop looked at me, I looked at him, I said that she has been in my home less than 2 hours and obviously doesn't want to stay there. He told her to take it up with DSS and left.
We went inside and I called DSS to tell them what happened and to come get her because she is serious about not staying with us. This is all after hours so finding people in another county was a challenge. She said she was sorry but she just didn't feel safe and our neighborhood is sketchy. She really wanted to be with her nephew who went to a different home. She wanted to be with her family. I told her that I understood but this was not going to get her with either person. All she had to do was tell me she really wanted to leave, calling the police was not necessary.
DSS tried to convince me to let her stay until they found another placement. I said no, that I didn't trust her in my home and don't feel comfortable. After a few hours they came and got her.
What a crazy day. I feel bad for her, she did not want to be in care but had no choice. I imagine that she went to a group home.
Sunday, October 8, 2017
Document
The written word, much more important than the spoken word when it comes to DSS and our children. When our child was taken for a new forensic interview and moved to a therapeutic home the activity was reported to OHAN (Out of Home Abuse and Neglect) per protocol. Abuse and neglect do happen in foster homes and group homes all the time.
The girls have gone through several workers in the short time I have had them. My main communication has been through texting. On occasion I call and talk with them but I always make sure that behaviors are written down. I reported all behaviors for both girls to each worker. When you look back you can see that the behaviors that they pulled little miss for where similar behaviors that I have been reporting all the time, just escalated as she has gotten more comfortable in our home. I also copied my messages to my licensing worker.
I have always done this and this is the first time that I have needed that back up. If I had never written about my concerns with some behaviors that might have seemed minor then, it is very possible that we would be under investigation at this time. However, after a review of all the correspondence OHAN has closed the case without even calling me.
So to all you foster/adoptive parents out there; document, document, document.
The girls have gone through several workers in the short time I have had them. My main communication has been through texting. On occasion I call and talk with them but I always make sure that behaviors are written down. I reported all behaviors for both girls to each worker. When you look back you can see that the behaviors that they pulled little miss for where similar behaviors that I have been reporting all the time, just escalated as she has gotten more comfortable in our home. I also copied my messages to my licensing worker.
I have always done this and this is the first time that I have needed that back up. If I had never written about my concerns with some behaviors that might have seemed minor then, it is very possible that we would be under investigation at this time. However, after a review of all the correspondence OHAN has closed the case without even calling me.
So to all you foster/adoptive parents out there; document, document, document.
Friday, October 6, 2017
Changes
The girls got a new social worker. Wow, this one listens. This one takes action. One child had a new forensic interview based on my reporting. It all happened so fast. Wednesday I texted the social worker about an ongoing issue, Wednesday afternoon she told me that they were going to move her to a therapeutic home but had to have an evaluation first. So she planned on getting her on Friday. Thursday I spent most of the day looking for clothing, I found three pairs of matched socks, many unmatched ones.
Such is this child's level of attachment that she was delighted to go with the worker to a new home. Her sister hasn't even mentioned her, such is her level of attachments. I have mentioned that they have no attachments. This social worker gets it, she says that they don't seem to care if they see their parents or not and don't mind leaving. I told her that this is my first foster kids who walk in the door after a visit and have no behavior changes. It was as though they had just taken a walk down the street.
I think I was more upset about her leaving, I knew it had to happen but I hate breaking up siblings. Not sure where this will lead to in the future but I think it is going to be a long term case. It is truly amazing how much quieter my house is with one less child in it!
Itty Bitty......I couldn't make it to the foster care review board. I texted the GAL and told her. She thanked me for reminding her because she had forgotten. She called me after the meeting to catch me up and to ask the question. Would you be an adoptive resource? No, this doesn't mean the case is going towards adoption, they have 15 months to work their plan. It does mean that the GAL heard some things that lead her in a certain way. This will be a long case as well. It feels as though less and less kids are able to go home. Things are brutal out there.
Such is this child's level of attachment that she was delighted to go with the worker to a new home. Her sister hasn't even mentioned her, such is her level of attachments. I have mentioned that they have no attachments. This social worker gets it, she says that they don't seem to care if they see their parents or not and don't mind leaving. I told her that this is my first foster kids who walk in the door after a visit and have no behavior changes. It was as though they had just taken a walk down the street.
I think I was more upset about her leaving, I knew it had to happen but I hate breaking up siblings. Not sure where this will lead to in the future but I think it is going to be a long term case. It is truly amazing how much quieter my house is with one less child in it!
Itty Bitty......I couldn't make it to the foster care review board. I texted the GAL and told her. She thanked me for reminding her because she had forgotten. She called me after the meeting to catch me up and to ask the question. Would you be an adoptive resource? No, this doesn't mean the case is going towards adoption, they have 15 months to work their plan. It does mean that the GAL heard some things that lead her in a certain way. This will be a long case as well. It feels as though less and less kids are able to go home. Things are brutal out there.
Neurologist
We travelled to Charleston to see the new neurologist. Before I went I requested her medical records from her previous neurologist.
The new neurologist looked at her records and stated that there was no way that was all her records, that they were incomplete. They didn't have all of her sleep studies in there. He asked me when she had them done. Well, I don't remember! I pulled up my blog and put sleep in the search bar and up they came. How convenient.
Sleepy, her current status.
He wants all of her records before he decides how to proceed so I signed a bunch of forms so they could get them directly from the hospitals and off we went. He said he would call me in a week to discuss a plan of action. Thank goodness he is willing to do phone consultations!
We were able to have a nice lunch together.
Larissa slept on the way there and on the way home. It was a quiet drive.
I am working on patience. In the meantime she is on her same medication. I think it needs changed though, her dizziness is increasing.
Monday, October 2, 2017
Larissa school
Well, Larissa is now homeschooled. It wasn't the bullying (although that was getting old), it wasn't the teacher (I never heard back from her principal), it was the exhaustion that finally made me complete the paperwork to homeschool her. She was missing at least one day a week for headaches or even dizziness and then I was picking her up early one or two days a week. She was missing too much class time and she was struggling to keep up.
Today was our first day with Connections Academy and we are struggling. Larissa is challenged by all the different requirements and reading all her materials on the computer is causing her to have headaches. Heck, even I am struggling to figure out what all she is supposed to do and where she is supposed to be going. I guess there is a learning curve!
Going with an internet based program made the paperwork easier, I sure hope with time it becomes easier to navigate. Anyone use one of those internet based schools? I think the K12 is a similar program. Say a prayer for me! So far I don't feel that I am doing a great job as a coach.
Tomorrow we travel to Charleston to see a new neurologist. I am hoping for a different perspective but I don't have much hope. It has been such a frustrating experience getting these seizures gone.
Today was our first day with Connections Academy and we are struggling. Larissa is challenged by all the different requirements and reading all her materials on the computer is causing her to have headaches. Heck, even I am struggling to figure out what all she is supposed to do and where she is supposed to be going. I guess there is a learning curve!
Going with an internet based program made the paperwork easier, I sure hope with time it becomes easier to navigate. Anyone use one of those internet based schools? I think the K12 is a similar program. Say a prayer for me! So far I don't feel that I am doing a great job as a coach.
Tomorrow we travel to Charleston to see a new neurologist. I am hoping for a different perspective but I don't have much hope. It has been such a frustrating experience getting these seizures gone.